


Away With the Boys in the Band

by fingerprintbruises



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Community: paperlegends, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-15
Updated: 2012-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-12 05:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fingerprintbruises/pseuds/fingerprintbruises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur's the drum major and Merlin's the assistant drum major, failing to hide his crush on Arthur. Lance and Gwen are that couple everyone adores, but wants to puke all over. The boys in the drumline are who everyone wants to hang out with. And Arthur wants to know who the hell that kid from North High hugging Merlin is. In other words, that one story where everyone's in the high school marching band and Arthur finds out that he's not as straight as he thinks he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Away With the Boys in the Band

**Author's Note:**

> Art masterpost [here](http://tink-sky-reid.livejournal.com/7915.html)! by [tink_sky_reid](http://tink-sky-reid.livejournal.com/) :]
> 
> First, a HUGE thank you to my artist tink_sky_reid. Not only for your _wonderful and gorgeous_ art (yes, wonderful and gorgeous don’t dispute me lol), but for freaking out with me about word counts and deadlines and generally being there all the time and being understanding. I’m sorry about making you draw a clarinet!  
>  Title comes from the My Chemical Romance song The Sharpest Lives, now Tink and I only think of MCR when we think about my fic because of the marching bands, haha.
> 
> Second thank you to tambear13 for betaing my fic at last minute, and doing a wonderful job. THANK YOU SO MUCH. You don’t know how much I could breathe after you said that you could look my fic over.
> 
> Third, thanks to roslindi, my cheerleader, for helping me sort through my mess of thoughts about my story and helping me put it to rights and generally being calm.
> 
> Finally, a big thank you to the_muppet, really, you’ve done a wonderful job and I’m not just saying that, especially with dealing like procrastinators like me. You deserve all the awards.
> 
>  
> 
> _Please ignore the fact that writing about drumming techniques sound really dirty._

  


_This one time, at band camp…_

Merlin hated that saying. So did most of the other marching band students, for that matter. It was stupid and made band camp seem much more fun than it really was, which it wasn't in the slightest. It was a week of miserable, blistering heat while dealing with incompetent freshmen, reworking muscles you lost over the year, and learning new music and drill sets within a matter of days. So, no, band camp was not fun. Especially not for Merlin who burned easily in the sun, looked awkward in mesh shorts, and was too embarrassed to take off his shirt like some of the other boys during the afternoon heat.

For example, at the moment they were taking a five minute break, and Merlin couldn’t help but stare as the boys from the drum-line lounged around with their tops off on the grass, he wasn’t the only one staring though. It was unfair, really. Merlin himself had started filling out and wasn’t as weedy as he was once before, but compared to Percy and Gwaine, he was puny. It was a bit ridiculous that all the boys in drum-line were a bit gorgeous. That even included Arthur who was drum captain the year before.

This year Arthur was drum major and it was no surprise that Arthur got the spot. He was a leader, dedicated, skilled, respected by the other members, and was, surprisingly, a capable teacher. The fact that his only competition for the part was Valiant didn't seem to matter because everyone thought the guy was dumb to even try to audition against Arthur. Arthur did have his moments though, mainly with Merlin, where he was an absolute jerk to the highest degree, but that might be for the fact that Merlin liked to dish it back just as much.

None of these things helped the fact that after three years of knowing Arthur, Merlin had developed a crush. A large, whopping crush that had a third of the band giving him raised eyebrows whenever he was talking to the guy. It was embarrassing. Not to mention when their band director Mr. Gharrah approached him, picking Merlin as assistant drum major even though he didn’t audition for the part, and made some riddled comment about how Arthur was the other side of his coin and they had a destiny together before giving him a significant look that had Merlin blushing for the rest of the afternoon. How Arthur didn't know about the crush was beyond Merlin, he just figured the prat could be stupidly oblivious sometimes.

Merlin was sitting in the little shade offered by a small tree on the edge of the soccer field, resting his legs from the marching and his arms from the strain of holding his clarinet in the same position for hours. Beside him Gwen and Freya were chatting about the new freshmen flute players as Merlin stared off into space, or more specifically the space around Arthur and the other boys.

“Stare any harder and they might actually feel it,” Freya said, snapping Merlin out of his daze.

Merlin mockingly glared at the smaller girl. “Shut up.”

“He’s just upset Arthur doesn’t take his shirt off anymore,” Gwen whispered loudly. Freya giggled and tried to smoother it with her hand.

“Neither does your boyfriend,” Merlin replied. “I wish he would. He looks like he would have a nice set of abs. But you would know all about that wouldn't you, Gwen?”

Despite the look of disproval on Gwen’s face, a light blush stained her already rosy cheeks and a hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

“She just wishes he had a six pack like Gwaine,” Freya said with a grin before taking a drink of water from her canister.

Gwaine’s abs were legendary in the school, followed closely by Percy’s biceps, which was rather insane, considering the fact that both of them were only sixteen-year-old juniors. The fact that they were in the drum-line rather than a horn section, for some reason, made it okay for them to be generally accepted by people outside of the marching band. To everyone not in band, it seemed like it was cool to be seen slamming on drums, much to Merlin’s confusion. 

“No, I don’t! I’m perfectly fine with Lance’s abs.”

“Oh, really? Personally acquainted with them are you?” Merlin questioned innocently.

“I – Merlin! You guys are horrible,” Gwen bemoaned as she hid her face behind her hands.

“Face it, Gwen, if any guy had what Gwaine has, it would make him automatically three times hotter. No matter how hot they were in the first place,” Freya stated matter of fact. 

Merlin laughed and straightened up. He looked down at his stomach and pulled up his shirt to reveal his pale, flat stomach. He rubbed his free hand up and down his flank. “Does that go for me too?” Merlin joked, his eyebrows raised.

Before the girls, who were on the verge of laughter, could reply, there was a wolf whistle in the distance. The three of them looked over to the majority group who were sprawled out along the edge of the field not thirty feet away and saw Gwaine grinning madly at them.

Merlin froze, his arm still cradled to his chest, holding his shirt up, as he saw almost everyone’s eyes turn to him.

“Looking good over there,” Gwaine teased as Leon, Elyan and Percy joined in on his whistling and Elena snorted from laughter from her spot on the grass.

Merlin grinned and exaggerated patting his stomach lovingly.

“Put it away, Merlin, before you blind everyone!” Arthur yelled.

Merlin colored as his eyes swept to where Arthur was relaxing beside Tristan, leaning back on his hands, a lazy smile on his face, and his sunglasses hanging from his shirt. Immediately Merlin let go of his shirt as he heard laughter erupt from the two girls beside him as well as the people paying attention to them.

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Arthur!” Merlin called back grinning.

Arthur leaned forward, looking a little offended and surprised at the same time, but not before picking up a neon blue gock block that he used to keep the beat on the field, and lifted it threateningly.

Merlin wouldn’t put it past Arthur to actually throw the object, and was thankfully saved by Mr. Gharrah who started calling the group back onto the field for one last marching basics practice before lunch. Merlin smiled as he watched Arthur instantly get off the ground and start rounding up the kids who were straggling back from the bathroom.

Freya laughed and knocked into his shoulder playfully as they walked side by side to the make shift thirty yard line that Merlin had helped repaint with spray paint that morning. Merlin looked down at the small girl beside him and grinned, embarrassed when she smiled wickedly and wiggled her eyebrows in a knowing manner.

The group of drum-line kids moved off toward the far end of the field along with the percussion instructor Gaius. All of the teenagers that were in the drum-line consisted of returning students, so overall their drills were more of a review and fine tuning sort of process. Merlin was a bit envious of them because they didn’t get treated as though they were learning to march all over again. And they didn’t have to deal with freshmen.

Merlin didn’t completely hate freshmen, but there were a few that made him want to tear his own hair out. Like in his own clarinet section, there was a girl named Lamia, who kind of reminded him of Freya physically, but personality wise not so much. She didn’t talk at all, and actually seemed _scared_ of Merlin, flinching or moving away whenever he came near. Which was confusing because she was perfectly fine with the other boys standing near her, or approaching her; Merlin thought he was harmless compared to guys like _Valiant_.

Arthur had laughed at him when he told him about the girl that morning. Merlin remembered his head tipping back, exposing the tendons of his neck and not being able to look away until his head tilted back forward. Arthur merely told Merlin that he was being ridiculous and that he was less threatening than a puppy, it was only his imagination. Merlin didn’t know if that was a compliment or not.

The group of about forty five students created eight columns perpendicular to the thirty yard line with a yard between each column, Gwen was one of the eight students that took the front spots on the line to start off the drill. Merlin and Freya fell in line behind her. Merlin gave Morgana, who was lazily swinging her silver trumpet by her knees, a smile when she stepped up equal to him behind Morgause who was hefting a brass trombone.

Arthur stood off to the side, gock block in hand, with Mr. Gharrah standing beside him. It was always amusing to see the man in khaki shorts, battered t-shirts, and floppy sun hat, when usually all he wore were pressed trousers and buttoned shirts. His scraggly light brown hair that was fading into white, fell haphazardly beneath the hat, making him look like a bum on the streets.

The students listened intently as Mr. Gharrah explained the next set of drills. They were still on the more basic fundamentals, seeing how it was only the second day of camp, but they were starting to become more complicated.

“Mark time eight, a slow four beat horns up on five, forward eight, mark time eight with a slow horns on one for four beats, then forward eight, and repeat with the mark time eight, a slow four horns ups; all the way down to the fifty yard line,” Mr. Gharrah quickly instructed. Merlin’s lip quirked as he watched his instructor demonstrate the drill himself, exaggerating the movements of his knees popping forward as he mark timed, his heels lifting to his ankles and hitting the grass on his imaginary beat as his toes stayed firmly on the ground. “Understood?”

No one spoke up. It was simple enough for the returning musicians to understand, and Merlin assumed the freshmen were too scared to speak up. Mr. Gharrah and Arthur together were quite intimidating when they were standing together and staring you down.

“Remember, the next line starts when the line before starts marking time on the next yard line,” Arthur added before calling, “Set!”

The students on the line immediately stood up straight with their feet together and their instruments held away from them, perpendicular to the ground. Flute players like Gwen and Freya, and clarinet players like Merlin, kept their arms almost parallel to the ground, but there was a slight downward slant to their arms. Most of the other instruments followed this pattern except for the saxophones players who started with their instruments parallel to the ground in a set position, their hands positioned on each end of the piece.

Personally, Merlin believed that the saxophonists had it the easiest with their neck strap attached to their instrument, hanging it around their necks. The only thing they had to worry about was keeping their sax straight and perpendicular to the ground, whereas clarinets had to watch their angles and flutes, trumpets, and trombones had to make sure that they weren’t drooping below ninety degrees. Not to mention the heavier instruments had more strain on the musician’s arms.

Arthur waited a few seconds, his eyes trailing over the people in the set position, making sure that they were standing correctly, before setting a moderate tempo on the gloc block with his drumstick. _One. Two. One, two, three, four._ As soon as Arthur finished his count off, the drill began as Arthur continuously hit the block with a steady beat that was just on the side of too loud.

Merlin watched as the front line moved seamlessly in step with one another across the grass, rolling their feet, heel to toe, so it seemed like they were gliding across the ground. He stepped up after Freya had moved forward and rolled his eyes as he watched Jonas, a short, gangly, and frankly unattractive freshman sax player, try to mask his stumbling across the field as marching. The boy couldn’t even keep his feet in time with the beat, and they weren’t even going that fast either.

Mr. Gharrah immediately pounced on the boy, trying to be encouraging, in his own imposing and intimidating way, to help the boy out. The man even moved into the marching block to march next to the Jonas, saying, “Left, right, left, right. Now stop. Toe heel. Mark time, two, three, four. Horns up, two, three, four…”

When it was his turn to march, Merlin did his best to keep his back straight, his shoulders pulled back, and roll his feet to keep from bouncing across the field. The fact that Arthur could be watching his every move made Merlin work that much harder to be perfect, he knew the other boy wouldn’t hesitate to correct something that Merlin was doing wrong. And frankly it would be embarrassing to be called out in front of everyone, especially by Arthur.

They continued on with this drill for another two reps before moving on to a different one that was, in Merlin’s opinion, not that hard. Merlin went through the motions of the drill, wondering what lunch was going to be that day, and from the look on her face, he could tell that Morgana was mentally slamming her head against a wall.

Everyone knew that Morgana didn’t want to be in marching band. She had played volleyball since she was seven and didn’t learn to play an instrument until she was ten, when her mother married Arthur’s father. Arthur’s father, Uther Pendragon, had insisted that Morgana learn to play an instrument, thinking that she would choose the drums like Arthur had in following his footsteps. Instead he was not so pleasantly surprised when Morgana came home with a trumpet in hand and proceeded to wail on the instrument in every room in the house giving him headaches of epic proportions. Needless to say, Morgana had to be guaranteed a brand new car of her choice (within reason of course) as a graduation present should she stick to doing all four years of marching band. Uther only agreed in hopes that she learned to like it; of course, that plan wasn’t going all too well.

“We better be getting our drill today,” Morgana said to Merlin as they finally broke for lunch a little over an hour later.

“Hot out of the copy machine after practice yesterday,” Merlin grinned as Morgana hooked her arm around his elbow, walking alongside him across the steaming blacktop toward the music room.

“Good, I’m not sure how much longer I can handle watching Cedric continue being a complete freshman even though he’s not.”

Merlin chuckled. “He’s going to be one of those kids that act like a freshman for the rest of their lives, you know that?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Morgana grumbled.

Nudging her side with his elbow, Merlin asked, “So how are your freshmen?”

Morgana was section leader for the trumpets, like Gwen was for the flutes, and Morgause for the whole low brass. Merlin himself was both section leader and assistant drum major because the band was so small. Otherwise the section leader position would have fallen to George, which no one really wanted.

“Not bad,” Morgana answered with a smile. “Nick is odd, but he’s funny at least and Becky’s a little shy at the moment, but I can see her being just like me her senior year.”

“You mean terrifying?” Merlin joked with a quirk of his lips.

“Someone has to whip these little freshmen into shape,” Morgana replied wickedly.

“What about that other kid though?”

“Mordred?” Morgana said smiling. “He’s really good. Amazing, actually, but I’ve barely heard him say anything at all.”

He had seen Mordred about the group; he was very small with wide blue eyes that never seemed to blink and a blank face. Merlin remembered making eye contact with the boy once and feeling chills from the creepiness of his gaze.

Merlin laughed. “Reminds me of Lamia.”

Morgana pulled a face before laughing. “You mean Labia?” Morgana whispered conspiratorially, leaning toward Merlin. Merlin grimaced and shook his upper body exaggeratedly from the disturbing thought, which caused Morgana to laugh harder. Female body parts below the waist were not a topic Merlin was comfortable with. 

“There’s something seriously wrong with that girl,” she continued on after they had calmed down. “Mordred is nothing like her.”

Together they trailed behind the rest of the group as they navigated their way through the open aired school, talking about other members of the group as well as people from school. Merlin would never admit that he loved gossip and luckily for him, Morgana always seemed to have dirt on everyone.

Soon enough they made it to the music room that was off in the corner of the school, away from the main classrooms, but attached to the art rooms. The room was larger in width than it was in depth, but it comfortably fit all the students of the band, and even fit the large seventy person orchestra during their class time. All the chairs were stacked up in the corner since they were forbidden to sit, but metal black stands were still scattered about from the day before. Along the back wall, opposite the main door, were cupboards and lockers for students to keep their instruments. The left side of the room had two offices and a large storage room that held copies of music sheets and tapes, and even their marching uniforms. At the front of the room were whiteboards and a cabinet with a glass door, filled with trophies from all of the music groups in the school.

The pair dropped off their instruments near their empty cases and headed off toward the cafeteria for food, leaving behind some kids that were still goofing off with each other in the room. The walk to the cafeteria was short as it was just past a small courtyard. The cafeteria was small, but next to it was a large patio with red painted picnic tables covering the cement and a metal awning. Set up in front of the cafeteria doors were collapsible tables containing their lunch, and students were already making their way down, picking up their food.

Together they slipped in the back of the line just behind Isolde and Elena, both juniors who were chatting about their sophomore English teacher who had moved to New York with her husband.

“I hope the food’s good today,” Merlin commented as he strained his neck to look past the long line to the table of food. Merlin had just tittered out of his first major growth spurt (he suspected it was from all the sleeping he had done that summer) and now he was able to easily look over the heads of quite a few of the other students, notably the younger ones that only reached his chest. His mother said that he was suspected to grow a few more inches in the upcoming years, but almost reaching six feet was enough for Merlin, especially with his wiry build.

“You know it’s going to be sandwiches,” Morgana replied, picking at her nail. “It’s always sandwiches.”

“I heard Ricardo’s mom is going to make us tamales,” Merlin grinned at Morgana. Merlin had a love for Mexican food, actually almost all food since he guzzled almost everything down like a garbage disposal. “And enchiladas. Oh, and maybe churros, too. Do you think they’ll get us stuff to make tacos?”

“Merlin, you’re getting way too excited over this,” she replied smiling indulgently at Merlin's enthusiasm.

Eventually they made it to the table, arguing about what kind of food was better than others with Elena and Isolde joining in soon after, and were able to fill up their paper plates with mini sandwiches, salad, fruit, and cookies. Merlin had filled his plate up to the brim and was forced to carry the individual package of Doritos in the crook of his arm as his other hand carried utensils and his can of Coke.

Merlin walked alongside Morgana, making their way toward the far end of the benches where Lance, Gwen, Freya, and Morgause already sat. Next to their table, creating the illusion of one long table, sat the rest of the boys along with Elena and Isolde.

Just as he was about to sit down next to Freya, he heard his name being called. With wide eyes, he looked up to see Arthur waving him over to the space between him and Isolde. He glanced down to see Freya giving him a _look_ that told him that he was going to get smacked on the head if he sat down next to her. His shoulders drooped comically, feeling betrayed that Freya was feeding him to the lions, but then she smiled encouragingly and subtly nodded her head toward the direction Arthur was sitting.

Merlin smiled as he set down his food on the table and slipped into the space as well as he could with his long limbs. He managed to only knee Arthur in the shoulder and elbow Isolde on her bicep. Merlin, feeling both embarrassed for his lack of coordination and flustered for knocking into Arthur, sat down with an impish grin.

“God, Merlin,” Arthur complained as he straightened up from leaning toward Elyan when Merlin knocked into him. “You’re like a fucking scarecrow.”

“Sorry,” Merlin replied cheerfully, not sorry in the slightest.

“Think you have enough food there?” Leon asked from his spot across from Merlin with his eyebrows raised.

Merlin looked down at his plate that was piled high with two turkey sandwiches, a salad covering a third of the plate with ranch dressing poured over the top, a handful of orange and apple slices, and two chocolate chip cookies.

Merlin grinned at the boy in front of him. “I’m hungry.”

“Just remember there’re starving kids in Africa,” Arthur replied as he reached over to Merlin’s sandwiches and began taking his tomato slices.

“What the hell, Arthur,” Merlin cried, pushing at Arthur’s arms to get them away from his food. Arthur, of course, ignored Merlin’s protests and pushing and took his time.

“What?” Arthur retorted, annoyed. He took the slices and put each in one of his own two sandwiches. “You don’t even like tomatoes! You were just going to take ‘em out anyway.”

Merlin colored. He couldn’t believe that Arthur remembered that because even Gwen and Freya forgot about his aversion to tomatoes. “That doesn’t mean I want your hands all over my food.”

“Stop bitching,” Arthur retorted before taking a large bite of his sandwich and throwing Merlin a large close mouthed smile.

“Jerk.”

The rest of the lunch passed by quickly and Merlin tried his best to quell the surge of his heartbeat whenever he brushed elbows with Arthur. He was just glad that Freya and Gwen were too far away to make faces that would ultimately make him blush wildly.

Merlin hadn’t always been good friends with the boys, and more to the point, Arthur, who he still wasn’t very close with at the moment. When he started at Albion High, he was the only one in the band who came from Ealdor Middle School instead of Camelot Middle School. He would have gone to North Albion High if it wasn’t for the sudden change of the school district’s street zones. So Merlin had shown up to first day of band camp scared out of his wits and resigned himself to standing awkwardly away from most of group for the better part of the day. He had almost eaten lunch by himself if Gwen hadn’t dragged him over to sit with her, Morgana, and Morgause. Gwen had not really known anyone either, and was eager to stick close with Merlin, which Merlin had no problems with, seeing as how Gwen was kind and had a knack for making Merlin smile no matter what he was feeling.

Eventually Lance started hanging out with the two of them whenever Leon and Arthur weren’t around, and it wasn’t until the beginning of sophomore year, with the arrival of Gwaine who pointed him in the right direction, that he clued into the fact that Lance had quite a crush on Gwen. It was combination of Lance and Gwaine that nudged him further into the little clique of drum-line boys. And while Leon, Percy, and Elyan were friendly with him, Arthur, for the most part, tended to either ignore him completely or argue with him.

But that ended near the middle of junior year, just when Merlin thought he could get over the silly little crush on the other boy, Arthur seemed to warm up to Merlin. The attention expanded the tiny fancy he held and made it grow at an alarming pace.

Merlin didn’t even know why he liked Arthur in the first place. He was good looking, yes, with the combination of blond hair and blue eyes and the appearance of broadening shoulders as they got older, but his personality could use work. It didn’t matter to Merlin that Arthur’s teeth were a bit crooked or that he still got bouts of acne on his cheeks, what matter to Merlin was that Arthur was standoffish and full of himself. It wasn’t until they started becoming actual friends that Merlin finally got to see past all of his bluster and got to get a glimpse of who Arthur really was. And that was when Merlin started falling faster.

  


There were certain things that Arthur liked about being drum major. It had the advantage of not having to completely memorize music or having to march, but unfortunately, he still had to sit around and wait while the group learned the new drill.

A part of Arthur wished that he got the chance to be a part of this year’s field show titled ‘Camlann’, mainly because of the theme: war. The whole show was based off that theme, from the music to the colorguard’s costume to the movements on the field. He could already tell from their few run throughs of the music that it was going to be a powerful show filled with crescendos and layers upon layers of complicated melodies that wove around each other. And from what he heard from Mr. Gharrah and Annis, the colorgaurd instructor, there were actually going to be choreographed sword fights and movements that would look like the band was an army. It was exciting, but Arthur wished he wasn’t only conducting it.

After lunch, Arthur, along with Merlin, had helped Mr. Gharrah hand out packets of paper covered with grids and dots that had a number beside each of them. They also then handed out pieces of blue painter’s tape that students began sticking to their clothes for later use. Mr. Gharrah read off the assigned number for each member and many of the older students began going through each page and marking their dots so that it would be easy to find. Once all the numbers had been read, the band moved outside to the field where the section leaders began explaining to their new members how to read the drill.

Arthur found himself drifting over to where Merlin stood with his two freshmen as the rest of his clarinet section went to find their designated spots. Arthur bit on his lip to hide his smile as he watched the girl, who must be Lamia, glare up at Merlin and stand a foot further away from him than Jimmy.

“So, you’re going to start twenty steps down from the hash mark, yeah, those little lines near the middle of the field, and then two steps field left of the thirty-five yard line,” Merlin instructed Jimmy. “Give it a go and I’ll come by and check on you, okay?”

Arthur sidled up to Merlin and nudged the boy with his elbow. Arthur grinned as Merlin startled slightly before looking at Arthur and smiling that amused smile that made the corner of his eyes crinkle slightly and the dimple on his right cheek appear. Merlin turned back to the drill in his hands and explained to Lamia her spot as well, and Arthur couldn’t help that his eyebrows began rising when the girl started looking at Merlin like he was touched in the head. Well, that’s not to say that Merlin wasn’t touched in the head, but it was only the girl’s second day, she didn’t have the right to have an inferiority complex or attitude problem yet…and especially not with Merlin because Arthur really was the only one allowed to do that with him.

Arthur didn’t know that he was frowning down at the grass until he heard Merlin say his name. His head jerked up with an ineloquent, “What?”

“You okay?”

“Oh, yeah. That girl’s definitely something though,” he said in reply. He looked over to watch Lamia heading to her spot.

Merlin glared at Arthur. “Dude, weren’t you just laughing at me this morning about her? Like how it’s in my head or some stupid shit like that?”

“Changed my mind,” Arthur simply said with an easy shrug before smiling. “Better get in your spot, we’re gonna start soon.”

For the next two hours, the band only learned six pages of drill. Mr. Gharrah was disappointed because there were a full ninety other pages that they still needed to get to. The whole time was spent directing the freshmen on what to do, correcting the way some members moved from one spot to the next, and marking the field with their tape for their spots so that it would be easier for them to remember where they needed to hit for the set to look right.

Arthur stood on the sideline, constantly hitting the gloc block in sets of eight until they began doing the sets in succession. He hit the block for sixteen counts and then twenty-four and finally forty eight counts for all six pages. From his spot he watched as everyone curled up their new packets of drill and held it in front of their faces, in the set position if you didn’t have an instrument. Jonas was having trouble and he watched as the saxophone section leader Michael sat out a few repetitions to help the kid out. It was going to be troubling for Michael if Jonas didn’t quickly catch up with the rest of the band.

He felt more useful when they moved back into the music room and he got a chance to practice his conducting.

Conducting isn’t very hard for Arthur. Usually the hardest parts about it is keeping a steady tempo and keeping your arms up and moving for over five minutes, but Arthur never had a problem with keeping a beat and holding his arms up was just something that he was going to have to get used to. The main thing Arthur had to concentrate on was making sure his hits were very clear with every beat when his hands flew down and out on one, center on two, back outward on three, and upward on four.

It also didn’t help that once in a while when he looked at Merlin, the boy would try to throw him off by making funny faces at him, even while he was playing. So he tried his best to not let his eyes wander to Merlin, but it was hard not to when he stood before him in the front row, near the center of the small semi-circle the band created while practicing.

The guy could be insufferable sometimes.

Arthur could remember the times where he did nothing but ignore Merlin and his jug ears. It was the petty side of him that believed that this bumbling idiot was encroaching in on him and his friends. Leon and Lance had been his best friends since elementary school, and all of a sudden Merlin came into the picture, slowly drawing away Lance’s attention and eventually Leon’s too.

It took time for Arthur to finally warm up to Merlin. It had gotten tiring for him and others (especially with the arrival of Gwaine, Percy, and Elyan who loved Merlin immediately), that he treated Merlin poorly. For that reason, Arthur started to clean up his act a bit, he started talking to Merlin (who actually turned out to be kind of funny) like a normal person and didn’t treat him like an outsider. This didn’t mean he didn’t take the piss out of Merlin, because he still did very frequently, but now it was more out of fun than malice.

“Quit making faces, Merlin,” Arthur hissed softly as he moved close enough to press his chest against Merlin’s music stand. Mr. Gharrah had moved to the back to help the low brass with their phrasing, leaving the rest of the group to wait patiently as the trombones, baritones, and tuba played their part for their instructor.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Merlin whispered innocently with wide eyes.

Arthur tilted his head slightly and narrowed his gaze.

“You’re seeing things,” Merlin commented as he turned his gaze back to his music and pretended that he was looking over his part.

“ _Mer_ lin.”

“ _Ar_ thur,” Merlin mimed.

Before Arthur could reply, Mr. Gharrah was striding his way back to the front calling out instructions. “Alright! From B all the way to D, and flutes don’t forget those accent marks in measure 36. And Merlin, stop distracting Arthur.”

Arthur stepped back, grinning in triumph at Merlin, and Merlin colored slightly at being called out before glaring at the blond.

The rest of the day continued on much the same before they ventured outside with their music stands to where the pit and drum-line were practicing. They were set up on the other side of the large building in the shade, trying to stay as cool as possible while practicing in the heat.

The group spent the final hour working on their sound, making their way through the first two and half movements of the field show, fitting the different pieces together. Gaius had yelled a few times at the drum-line for their sloppy runs and technique and Alice, the pit instructor and Gaius’ assistant, had to constantly remind one of the new pit members when it was time to hit the gong. This all happened while Mr. Gharrah kept pushing the saxophones to bring out their sound and telling Morgana to tone it down before she drowned everyone out.

Arthur’s arms were sore by the end of the practice and he was more than happy to slump down against the wall of the music room, his sunglasses hanging from the collar of his shirt, as he chatted to Leon and waited for Morgana to finish packing up.

“Did you hear that Gharrah was thinking of giving you the solo?” Leon asked, practically bouncing on his toes looking down at Arthur.

“What? No way. I thought Lance was going to do it,” Arthur replied confused. His hopes were steadily rising though because Arthur had taken a look at the sixteen measure long snare solo and it was going to a tough part to play with rapid sixteenth notes and rim shots.

“Nah,” Leon shrugged, his strawberry blond curls bouncing. “Gaius said something about Lance getting something else, but that you’d get the solo. He also said Gharrah wanted Merlin to conduct for a bit.”

“ _Mer_ lin conduct?” Arthur scoffed and his head tilting. “You’ve gotta be kidding me right?”

“I’ll have you know I’m quite good at keeping a tempo,” Merlin suddenly injected, jumping into the conversation and standing by Leon.

Merlin had always been shorter than Leon, but now Arthur could see how tall Merlin had gotten over the summer, almost matching up to the always tall Leon. Arthur had noticed some others things that had changed about Merlin, like how he had grown out his hair so that the thick strands of black hair curled around his ears, almost masking their size, and how it began to brush the top of his eyebrows in messy tangles. He wasn’t as gawky as he once was, making Arthur believe that he was growing into himself. The changes made Merlin look older and more mature, leaving Arthur’s throat dry for a reason he couldn’t explain. 

“I’m sorry, but your lack of ability to keep a beat on the drums begs to differ,” Arthur pointed out before subtly trying to clear his throat.

Merlin threw up his arms. “That was the first time I played them! And it was for fun!”

“And we learned to never let you near them again in case you take your own eye out.”

“Like you were amazing the first time you played the snare.”

“Actually I was,” Arthur smugly replied with a grin. “Complete natural.”

Morgana popped into the conversation as well, standing on the opposite side of Arthur’s stretched out legs and lifting her purse onto her shoulder. “Naturally terrible,” she stated smoothly. “Uther practically cried in horror the first time Arthur tried to keep a beat and had to buy him a metronome as part of his Christmas presents.”

“He didn’t,” Merlin laughed, Leon laughing along with him.

“Oh, he did.”

“Shut it, Morgana,” Arthur growled as Merlin and Leon continued to laugh. Arthur swung his leg out to kick her in the shin. Morgana grinned as she stopped his leg from hitting her with her foot and knocked it back down to the floor.

“But it’s true,” she replied gleefully. “Come on, I wanna get out of here.”

Arthur rolled his eyes as he got up off the ground. “You were the one taking forever.”

“It wasn’t even five minutes,” Morgana grumbled before turning to Merlin and Leon. “See you guys tomorrow.”

Arthur sighed as Merlin and Leon said their goodbyes to his step-sister and Morgana bounded out the door. He picked up his backpack and threw it over his shoulder.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, too,” Leon announced and slapped both Arthur and Merlin on the backs before leaving, heading in Gwaine and Percival’s direction because he was their ride.

“So you were horrible when you first started,” Merlin grinned.

“I was ten,” Arthur argued back.

“And probably thought you were the shit then too, huh?”

“That’s because I was.”

“Sure,” Merlin replied gravely. “Just keep telling yourself that.”

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur said with an unimpressed look. He started backing away from the other boy saying, “I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early like usual, yeah?”

“Yup,” Merlin agreed with a nod. His face then broke out into a smile, dimples appearing on his cheeks.

Arthur smiled back, his eyes lingering for a brief second on the dips in his cheeks before turning and leaving the classroom oddly breathless.

  


Merlin flopped down on his back along his couch, letting his body sag into the lumps. The week had been a long one, filled with a days of learning and laughter. Although his limbs were sore and his lips were slightly stinging, he was happy. He hadn’t seen many of his friends for a long time. He saw Gwen and Freya the most over the three months, but he only go the chance to hang out with the boys once in late June and Morgana once, as well. Merlin spent most of his time with his old best friend Will who went to North Albion High since he didn’t get to see him a lot during the school year.

He expected band camp to be the time where he could catch up with everyone, but band camp was different this year compared to every other year mainly because he had spent a lot of time with Arthur. Every morning he helped Arthur set up the field and repaint it, if it needed repainting, and every afternoon he helped clean up. They talked and joked as they rolled out Jarvis, the podium Arthur conducted on, from a shed on the far end of campus to the soccer field. Over half the time, while they were alone together, he had to make sure that he wasn’t staring for too long or making a fool of himself, so he often had to think before speaking.

Hanging out with Arthur was fun because he was often just as stubborn as Merlin was on certain topics like movies and video games, and there was always something to talk about between them. Even though he was around Arthur for a good portion of the day, the time spent together didn’t help Merlin gain control over the butterflies or the fuzzy feeling he got in his chest every time he saw Arthur smile. Merlin didn’t know how he was going to survive the upcoming school year if Arthur planned to spend more time with him, he was sure he was never going to get over his crush on the other boy if this continued.

School was set to start the coming Tuesday. Like most kids, Merlin had mixed feelings about the new school year, he was excited that it was final year before college, but at the same time it was the last year before everyone went their separate ways and Merlin knew that he was going to miss all his friends. He knew he wouldn’t miss the high school atmosphere where the teachers tried to be cool and the students spread rumors like wildfire, but he would definitely miss seeing his friends everyday and being only a short car ride away from them.

He let himself sink into the couch as he turned on the TV, waiting for his mother, Hunith, to come home for dinner. When she finally arrived almost an hour later with a tired, yet content smile, Merlin finally peeled himself off the couch to help her cook , knowing that she loved it when he helped as much as he could around the house.

“So I was thinking tomorrow or Sunday we could do a bit of shopping,” Hunith said after they sat at their small dining table with bowls full of pasta and meat sauce.

“Mom, it’s okay,” Merlin appeased, patting her thin wrist. “You should use it to fix the windows of your car. It’s still going to be hot for a few more months.”

“Don’t worry about that. I can handle a few more weeks trying to get my A/C to work with me,” she said gently. “I’ve saved up enough to buy some new things. You’ve outgrown most of what you have already.” She fingered the old green t-shirt he was wearing that was starting to get holes and pit stains.

Merlin smiled at another reminder with how much his mother loved him and nodded, knowing that she wasn’t going to take ‘no’ as an answer.

“Okay, we can go tomorrow.”

  


“You’re going to make us late, Morgana!” Arthur yelled up the stairs. He made his way back to the front door and leaned against the wall while tapping his foot.

Even though it was the first day of school, Arthur hadn’t felt the need to make an impression like everyone else did. So he wore his usual attire of a red Hurley shirt, a pair of jeans, and Nikes.

Suddenly Vivienne flew by in a hurry, her short black hair flying from her speed. “I’m going to hit so much traffic,” she muttered to herself as she shoved her feet into a pair of heels and held onto the door handle for balance. She gave Arthur a smile after she got both heels properly on her feet. “Are you sure you two will be okay with getting to school by yourselves?”

Although she wasn’t his birth mother, Arthur held affection for the woman who was strong enough to raise Morgana on her own after her husband left her early in pregnancy and take on Uther and all his faults and heavy baggage. She could never replace Ygraine and she knew that, never even tried, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t care for Arthur, and Arthur, Vivienne. Arthur had a lot of respect for his step-mother.

Arthur nodded. “Yes, we’ll be fine,” Arthur replied in a placating tone that border lined annoyance.

Vivienne smiled and pinched Arthur’s chin. “Drive safe.”

“Of course.”

Then Vivienne was out the door and before it could close all the way behind her, Morgana pounded down the stairs, her flats clacking against the hardwood floors.

“What were you doing?” Arthur asked her, opening the door and letting her go first, leaving behind a trail of perfume. “Changing your outfit ten times?”

Morgana smoothed down her light blue summer dress, adjusted her backpack that had shifted her racer back vest, and glared at Arthur as he locked the door. “No. I just don’t roll out of bed and throw on whatever smells clean off my floor.”

“I don’t do that,” Arthur argued back as they walked down the stone path to his large red Ford F150. The license plate read XCAL1BR, which made most of his friends laugh and make jokes about how his car was a metaphorical dick.

“Oh, really? Then how come I can’t see your floor?” Morgana fired back as she climbed into the car.

“I haven’t gotten around to cleaning it yet.”

The rest of the short ride was arguing over Arthur’s dirty room and how long it took Morgana to get ready for school. Arthur parked his car in his designated parking spot and had seen both Lance’s Toyota Corolla and Merlin’s beat up Nissan Sentra while getting to his spot.

Having gotten their schedules two weeks ago, Arthur knew that he had at least one friend in each class, Merlin, of course, being in most of them. He had Literature AP, Calculus BC, and Economics AP with Merlin which also had Leon and Gwen in Literature and Lance in Economics. He was also taking French 4 with Lance (who already knew Spanish and didn’t want the easy A it would give him) and Physics with Morgana and Tristan. It was a heavy schedule, but it was doable and Arthur had to get good grades in order to get into his first choice school of USC.

There was still almost ten minutes before class was going to start and few minutes before the five minute warning bell, so Morgana followed him to where he placed his locker saying that she wanted to see Gwen and Merlin first before going to her locker and finding her other friends. His unassigned locker was placed near the art and music rooms, which was also where all his friends put theirs when they planned to get lockers together.

Walking through campus, Arthur had waved at a few people he knew, but Morgana seemed to say ‘hi’ to everyone and greet them with a large smile. Arthur knew a lot of people at school, but apparently Morgana knew more.

Turning the corner, Arthur had almost come to a complete stop after realizing who was talking to Gwen, Lance, and Elyan. Ahead, with his back to him, stood Merlin, not with his usual attire of indie band t-shirt and jeans that were about to fall off him, but with a snug navy and white plaid button-up that was rolled up to his elbows and a pair of fitted jeans. Arthur didn’t realize how his eyes travelled from the broad shoulders, past the tapered waist, over the denim that hugged his ass, and down the long legs. His eyes briefly flickered back to the curve of Merlin’s ass, but quickly ripped his gaze away and mentally slapped himself, wondering what he was doing.

“Merlin!” Morgana cried as she rushed forward and wrapped a surprised, but laughing Merlin in a hug. “Did you finally get new clothes?”

“Just this weekend,” Merlin grinned and looked over her shoulder to where Arthur had moved closer, and if anything, smiled even wider. “Hey, Arthur.”

Arthur, who couldn’t seem to find his voice at the moment, only smiled and waved in greeting, doing the same for Gwen, Lance, and Elyan.

“They look good on you,” Morgana praised as she grasped Merlin’s shoulders and looked down at him. Merlin blushed under her scrutiny. “And your pants actually fit!”

“I was surprised too,” Gwen gushed, beaming at Merlin and Morgana. “I thought he had an allergic reaction to clothes that actually showed he had a body under there.”

Arthur ignored the girls as they talked about Merlin’s lack of fashion sense and struck up a conversation with Lance and Elyan about their classes. He put away his backpack while they talked and grabbed an empty binder and shoved a pen into his pocket, knowing that they wouldn’t need anything for class yet and didn’t have their books either.

When Morgana left to find her other friends, Merlin and Gwen continued to talk about where Merlin had gone to get his new clothes and Arthur did his best to not glance too often at Merlin.

Arthur didn’t feel any relief when the first bell rang because Merlin shared his first period with him in calculus. He didn’t know why a simple change to Merlin’s clothes was causing him to react this way, but all Arthur knew was that he didn’t like it.

It was going to be a long day.

  


Merlin had dressed himself carefully the morning of the first day of school. Over the weekend he had gotten himself a handful of shirts and a few pair of new jeans that weren’t so baggy nor showed off his ankles. Part of him wanted to look good for Arthur, but a bigger part of him just wanted to feel great about the way he looked. Merlin’s self confidence wasn’t always very high, that came with having large ears that stuck out and a small build, so having something to make him feel a little better about himself was always something he needed.

People had noticed his change of style. His friends all commented on it, all of them except Arthur, of course. Arthur had been slightly awkward when they were alone, not overly so, but sometimes he wouldn’t make eye contact and left awkward pauses in the middle of conversations. Merlin had hoped it wasn’t because in the time between school and camp Arthur had changed his mind about spending time with Merlin, realizing that Merlin really wasn’t all that worth it. The thought was disheartening.

The first day had been quick. Merlin had a few friends outside of the band and caught up with them about their summer during breaks and in class before the bell rang. Each class mostly spent the time going over the syllabus and talking about what they were going to need for the rest of the year, nothing too important.

For lunch, Merlin met up with Gwen, Lance, Leon, and Arthur, and as seniors they were able to leave campus to get food. They all climbed into Lance’s car, Merlin uncomfortably squished between Leon and Arthur in the backseat, Merlin’s pulse racing from where his thigh and shoulder was pressed up against Arthur’s. By now the awkwardness that had appeared earlier in the day had disappeared and Arthur was acting like he was before, making Merlin question himself what was wrong in the first place. The car ride was filled with laughter as they all talked about their classes and if they had anyone interesting in them. Leon lamented over having Johnny, the class idiot who thought he was funny, in two of his classes while Gwen complained about Paula the Parrot already trying to suck up to their Government teacher.

Lunch, which consisted of Subway sandwiches and sitting outside in the patio of the shopping center, passed by quickly and before they knew it, they were back on campus and rushing back to their fifth period before the second bell rang.

Merlin’s fifth period was Chemistry AP, a class that he was fairly nervous about due to his already heavy workload of three other AP classes. His fourth class was Spanish 4, but it wasn’t too difficult, so his main focus was his other four other classes and making sure he made the grades for college. The chemistry teacher, Mr. Taliesin, was known for being extremely helpful and excellent at teaching, but at the same time, also a bit of a hard-ass.

Merlin had taken a seat near the middle on the left side of the class where there weren’t a lot of people. The class was a mix of mainly seniors and juniors with the odd sophomore who thought they were ready to take an advanced class so Merlin didn’t know many of the students there.

He was doodling on the side of edge of his paper when someone sat down in the seat to the right of his.

“Hey, Merlin.”

Jerking his head up, Merlin looked to see Lucas, a junior who was one of the two out and proud gay kids at the school, grinning at him. Lucas, too, had grown since Merlin remembered last talking to him. His brown curls covered his ears and was parted to the side, his brown eyes were as bright as ever, and his skin was slightly tanned. But over the few months the other boy had lost most of the still present baby fat in his cheeks and was starting to be replaced by a smooth jaw line. 

Merlin smiled in return after a beat of staring. “Hey, how was your summer?”

“Not bad. Went to San Diego for a few days,” the boy replied while shrugging. “Oh, dude! Guess what?”

“What?”

Lucas grinned widely before sticking his tongue out between his teeth and catching a black ball against his front teeth.

Merlin laughed in surprise at the tongue piercing. “Holy shit.”

“Sweet, huh?”

“Yeah, man, where’d you get it? Do your parents know?”

“Hell no. I got it when they went to the Caribbean for a week. My sister knows a guy and he did it for cheap,” Lucas boasted excitedly.

Merlin felt himself smiling as Lucas threw him one last face splitting grin before facing the front when the bell rang. Lucas was cute, but no one could hold a light to Arthur in Merlin’s opinion.

  


The only thing Arthur hated more than late, away football games were late, home football games where they had to wear their marching uniforms.

The marching band uniforms were stuffy, heavy, and very unflattering on everyone’s figure. The material was made of rough fabric that kept them warm in the cold and made them sweat in the heat. The design was simple though, a white jacket with red stripes covering the front, running across the chest and down to the waist, bordered in gold. The same design was copied around the wrists on the sleeves. The zipper ran down the middle, hidden by small folds. The jacket was embroidered with gold stitches, travelling around the edges of the stiff red collar that clasped snuggly around the neck and around the red shoulder buckles. On their right shoulder hung a small red cape that draped down to the waist, also lined with gold. Their pants were made from the same itchy fabric as the jacket and white, but had a stripe, about the size of an inch, of red on the outside seam also bordered in gold. Attached to their pants and under their jackets was a set of suspenders that made everyone look like nerds when they left their jackets off. And lastly, the uniform was completed with white marching shoes that had a curved heel, white cotton gloves, and a hat.

Their hat, made of a hard plastic that mimicked a top hat (only without the brim and a visor instead), was mainly white with a large band of red wrapped around the middle, lined in gold, and a plastic gold chain sat on top of the visor, snugly against the front of the hat. A plastic gold knight placed as the emblem on the red section and a white plastic chin strap hung from one corner of the visor to the other. And to add to the look was a white plume that stood from the top of the front edge of the hat. The plume was fluffy and moved whenever there was a breeze.

Normally, most drum majors wore a uniform with different colors from the rest of the band to distinguish themselves. But since their school was poor, the band too small, and the school didn’t care too much about the marching band, Arthur had to wear the same uniform that the rest of the band wore except for the cape. He was saved from wearing the cape, although he was sort of fond of it. Albion High’s mascot was the Knights, so the cape was a bit of a tribute to that.

Since their uniform was mainly white, they had to be careful where they sat. Meaning they had to wipe down the benches with their hands before sitting.

Their football team was pretty bad. They won a few games here and there, but otherwise the other schools didn’t really see them as a threat.

During the games, the band sat in their own little section; the flutes up front in a row, then the clarinets in the next row, then the saxophones, the trumpets, and the low brass. For the home games, the drumline was able to fit behind the band on the wooden bleachers with their drums set up on stands so that they wouldn’t have to carry them all the time. Arthur stood at the very front, never able to sit down, and always had to pay attention so that they could play at the appropriate times.

Arthur grew up watching football with his father, and although he never pushed Arthur to join the sport, he emphasized that it was one of America’s past times and that Arthur should at least learn the game. So during the games, Arthur got a little into it more than the other members of the band who preferred to talk to one another.

“I don’t see why the football players think they rule the school,” Freya complained to Gwen who sat beside her and Merlin who sat behind them. “They play like shit.”

“Because they’re boneheads who think football means they should automatically be better than everyone,” Gwen replied evenly.

Arthur stood with his back to group, his jacket stretching across his shoulders as he crossed his arms. He was half listening to them talking, half watching as one of the players failed to make the first down for the second time on the run. He sighed as his eyes trailed to the large group of boys standing on the sideline. Arthur spotted number 43, Ben Adams, a boy from his French class, someone who was actually pretty nice, and smart. And he had a great ass.

Arthur’s eyes widen minutely at his train of thought and moved his eyes away from the field over to the score board that showed that there was twenty minutes left in the game and that they were behind by 14 points.

“I still don’t understand what’s going on,” Merlin said tonelessly.

At this, Arthur turned and raised an eyebrow at Merlin. Merlin had put his foot up on the bench in front of him, his elbow resting on his knee and his face in the palm of his hand, looking bored as hell, but his eyes glued to the field. The uniform bunched awkwardly around his stomach from the position.

“You’ve been watching them play for three years and you still don’t understand?” Arthur accused.

Merlin’s eyes snapped to Arthur and he dropped his hand. “It’s not like it’s very important.”

“Even I understand,” Gwen chimed in before slumping slightly, “but that’s mainly because of Elyan.”

“It’s hard to get excited about something that stops every two seconds.”

“ _Mer_ lin,” Arthur cried looking scandalized. “I can’t believe you haven’t learned anything after three years. What have you been doing all this time?”

“Paying attention to the wrong thing, I’m guessing,” Freya immediately replied, before her eyes widened.

“Freya!” Merlin exclaimed, jostling her shoulder and a light blush covering his cheeks as Gwen howled with laughter.

Arthur frowned, feeling like he was missing something as he watched Freya break down into giggles.

“Arthur! When are we going to play something?” Gwaine called down from the back distracting him away from the three in front of him that were furiously whispering to one another.

Arthur turned back to the game real quick to see that they somehow had gotten the first down and were forty yards away from the touchdown.

“How about some _Back in Black_?”

“ _Yes I'm back in black_!” Gwaine sang out in reply with a grin as he picked up his sticks that were wrapped in white electrical tape for grip and to prevent horrible nicks from the rims of the drums.

Arthur smiled as he shouted, “Everyone up! Back in Black!”

Merlin scoffed as he rose, flipping the sheets on the lyre attached to his instrument holding his music. “You would choose one of the longer songs we have.”

“Oh, yes,” Arthur sarcastically replied. “I long to make you suffer with long AC/DC music.”

Arthur knew he smiled at Merlin, who was smiling back just as widely, for just a beat too long before he raised his arms. He moved his gaze to make sure everyone had their instruments ready, when he was satisfied, he began conducting, “One. Two. One, two three, four.”

  


Falling into the rhythm of school was easy. Merlin savored the moments though, because he knew that this was his last year of high school, and as much as other people might not admit it, Merlin knew that he was going to miss it a little bit.

He hung out with Gwen and Freya, sometimes Morgana, on the weekends they didn’t have too much homework, or after Saturday practice, if there was any. During the weekdays he spent his time going to practice for three hours every Monday and Wednesday, doing homework, catching up on TV shows, and memorizing and practicing his music.

These days were also littered with time spent with Arthur, who he was finally relaxing around. He reveled in the feeling every time their arms brushed or Arthur’s hand clasped his shoulder, but he knew to not read into it or think about it too much, because he was going to have to live with the fact that Arthur didn’t have feelings for him. But he didn’t know how long it would take for him to get over it.

The best thing about spending more time with Arthur was that they reached the level when one could give the other a look and the other would know exactly what the first person wanted to convey without even saying anything. There was also the fact that Merlin made Arthur laugh a lot by just being his goofy self, talking about things he read about to who said what in his Spanish class.

Something that Merlin was looking forward to was Arthur’s solo in the show, which required Merlin’s help.

Mr. Gharrah had called them both into his office during the third week of school to tell them what was planned after the ballad and short drumline feature that showcased a brief solo for Lance.

“I’m going to dress him…like a _servant_?” Merlin repeated Mr. Gharrah incredulously, his face twisted in disbelief, especially since he could see Arthur’s shoulder shaking from silent laughter in the corner of his eye.

“Aren’t you excited to become my manservant, Merlin?” Arthur drawled and Merlin glared at the other boy who was grinning like a loon.

“Emerson, it is not as bad as you think it is,” Mr. Gharrah explained gently, ignoring Arthur, as he leaned back in his seat and laced his fingers together to rest on his stomach. “During the fifteen measures of the drumline break, you will move off the field and Arthur will climb down from the podium. You will act like the servant, and Arthur, the prince going off to war. Like a servant, you will dress him, which will consist of placing the harness on him, attaching the snare and giving him his sticks. Very simple and easy. Once you’re done you’ll climb onto the podium and conduct while the band backs up Arthur’s solo.”

“And after?” Merlin questioned, still doubtful of the whole ‘servant’ description and feeling nervous about having to ‘dress’ Arthur.

“During the second drum break, you climb down and undo everything did in the first place and then move back on the field. We’ll work out the details when we begin going over the drill for that part.”

After some reassurance from Mr. Gharrah, they both left his office, Arthur draping an arm over Merlin’s shoulders, causing him to freeze up slightly before relaxing a little. He tried his best to make a coherent argument against Arthur who immediately began teasing him about being called a servant.

  


The week after, Mr. Gharrah had sent them off to practice their exchange on the sideline while the rest of the band went over the drill since many people were travelling over fifteen yards in only eight beats, which, by everyone’s standards, was almost physically impossible.

Getting the harness on was easy, all he had to do was hook it over Arthur’s head and let it rest against his torso, but the trickiest part was attaching the snare.

“Let’s see if you can get this on the first try,” Arthur teased.

Merlin glowered at him as he picked up the snare drum that wasn’t as light as it looked. He twisted it around so that the hinges were pointed to Arthur. Slowly Merlin approached Arthur, not daring to look at him when he knew that he was going to fail the first time he tried to attach the drum. Merlin lifted the drum slightly towards his chest and gently brought it down. Something got caught before the hinge could even get near the harness.

“Fail,” Arthur joked, smiling.

“Shut up,” Merlin quipped as he tried again, but this time he had pulled the drum too close to himself and end up missing the harness altogether.

After two more unsuccessful tries, Merlin was starting to get frustrated. It really shouldn’t be this hard to do, Merlin thought.

Merlin heard Arthur sigh softly. “Why don’t you stand to the side so that you can see what you’re doing,” Arthur suggested.

A faint frown appeared on Merlin’s face, but he didn’t rebuke Arthur because he was right, the way he was doing it just wasn’t working out. Moving over to the side, Merlin was able to watch as the silver hinges slid into place properly. Slowly letting go of the drum, Merlin smiled as it hung properly in place.

“Fucking finally,” Merlin breathed making Arthur laugh. Merlin glanced up just in time to see Arthur tilt his head back slightly and to look at the cords of his neck that had become exaggerated.

“Alright, now sticks,” Arthur said and held out his hand. Merlin grabbed two drumsticks that we sitting in a pouch on the side of the drum and handed them to Arthur. “Okay now we’ll undo all this and do it over again until you can do it with your eyes closed.”

Merlin groaned.

  


The first competition was upon them faster than Arthur could have imagined. They had spent hours during their practices perfecting every note and every field movement as Mr. Gharrah stood on the stands yelling down at them should they make a mistake. They would not perform the complete show for the first competition since their final piece was not ready for performing, but the show would end immediately after Arthur’s solo to bring the whole show to something that would resemble an ending.

Call time on the Saturday of the competition was 7:30 in the morning, with plans that everyone changed into their uniform slacks to save time when they arrived at their destination (their jackets stayed on their hangers) and loaded the buses by 8:15 to be on the road by 8:30. All was going to plan as Arthur helped Mr. Gharrah and the parents round up the students and shove them onto the bus at ten after. While he was running around, picking up necessary items, Arthur caught glimpses of Merlin who was also helping out by packing up the undercarriages of the two yellow buses with all the instruments and equipment that the colorgaurd used during the show. Arthur helped Gaius, Alice, Percy, and Leon load up the last of the pit instruments and uniform jackets on their racks into the old, rusty moving truck that had the Albion Knight’s chipped logo posted on the sides.

There were two buses that were comfortably filled with the students and the adults splitting up to ‘supervise’ the students. After making sure all the equipment was accounted for, Arthur climbed into the first bus where his friends were sitting. Arthur walked down the narrow passage between the brown plastic seats towards his friends that took over the back seats, ignoring Morgana who was sitting next to Morgause a few seats ahead of his friends.

It was recommended to double up on the seats, but a few people were able to snag their own, which is what Percy and Leon did for the very last row, placing their legs on the seats so that their feet dangled over the edge of the seat and into the walkway. In front of Percy who sat on the right side of the bus was Elyan next to the window and Gwaine in the aisle seat. On the side, Lance and Gwen sat in front of Leon, Gwen sitting next to the window and chatting to Freya and Drea who were sitting in front of her. Across the aisle from the two girls, Merlin was sitting by himself, his head tucked down, reading something Arthur guessed.

As he got closer to his friends, there were only four realistic spots to choose from: shoving his way next to Percy and Leon – which Percy tended to need all the room he could get due to his long legs and widening shoulders and Leon liked to take naps, so he filled up the seat when he leaned against the window or laid down –, sitting in front of Merlin, or sitting next to Merlin. Usually Arthur got a seat to himself, since mostly everyone else paired up perfectly with one another and there was no one left out, but this time the dynamics were thrown off by Drea being included in the seating arrangements.

Deciding that he would look like a complete douchebag if he didn’t sit next to Merlin and close enough to talk to the rest of his friends, Arthur picked up Merlin’s backpack from the space next to Merlin and jokingly tossed it into Merlin’s lap, jostling his hands holding a stack of note cards.

“Hey!” Merlin objected belatedly as Arthur flopped down on the seat next to him, his shoulder pressing up against Merlin’s bony shoulder.

Ignoring Merlin’s protest, Arthur pushed his backpack down onto the floor and asked Merlin quietly, “So why aren’t you sitting with Freya?”

“Well, if you used your eyes you could see that the seat is already occupied,” Merlin replied and Arthur glared at him, making the skinnier boy laugh. He then told him in a low voice, since they were sitting just across the small aisle. “Jonas has been bothering Drea a lot. You know like, failing to flirt with her and poking her or whatever. And sitting next to him on the bus rides to the footballs games has already been enough so Freya offered to sit next to her to get him off her back.  
Arthur’s face crumpled. “ _Jonas_?” Jonas, really, was quite creepy and all sorts of wrong for Drea, who was super sweet and kind of shy, which was probably why she got on so well with Freya in the first place.

Merlin raised his eyebrows like he couldn’t quite believe it either. “I know,” Merlin agreed, his face matching Arthur’s disgust.

“Well, let me know if he keeps bothering her,” Arthur told Merlin as he reached down to grab his iPod from his backpack. “And I’ll talk to him.” When Arthur straightened up and looked over at Merlin, the other boy was looking at him with a strange expression, a face that made Arthur question himself. “What?”

“Nothing.” Merlin shook his head and looked back down at his cards.

Arthur frowned slightly before putting in his left earpiece, slouching slightly so that when he leaned his head back against the seat his neck wasn’t strained. Unlocking his iPod and pressing play, Arthur began listening to Muse, hoping that the band would help get him into competition mode. A few seconds later the bus started up, the engine lightly shaking the carriage and rattling the windows, and the driver began driving through the school’s parking lot and out onto the street.

Tilting his head to the side, Arthur gazed down at Merlin’s cards and asked, “What’re you studying for?”

His stare flickered up to Merlin’s profile, his eyes trailing over the swoop of Merlin’s eyelashes as the boy blinked and down the straight line of his nose. There was a plumpness to Merlin’s lips that drew Arthur’s eye, especially when Merlin parted his lips, not even looking over to Arthur, and replied, “Chem. There’s a test on Tuesday.”

Arthur made a grunt of understanding, his eyes still trained to Merlin’s pink lips, his breath cutting short at the appearance of his tongue when Merlin unconsciously wet his lips.

Arthur didn’t even know how fast his pulse was racing until he was pulled out of his stare with a smack on his head from Gwaine who was sitting behind him.

“What the fuck, Gwaine?” Arthur cried out as he jerked forward in his seat and twisted around to glare at the other boy.

Gwaine laughed easily. “Get your fucking pad out, Princess, Lance wants to go over the drum break.”

“And that required smacking me?”

If anything Gwaine’s smile widened as he glanced at Merlin and back at Arthur. There was something knowing in his gaze that made Arthur’s cheeks heat up, embarrassed about something he wasn’t even sure about. Turning away quickly from Gwaine’s amused stare, Arthur grumbled to himself about how annoying Gwaine was as he pulled out a practice drum pad from his backpack along with a pair of drumsticks. The pad was about the same size as the snare drum, but shaped like an octagon, and was created to mimic the recoil the snare gave.

As Arthur prepared for their practice, Lance got up real quick (because you weren’t allowed to walk around while the bus was in motion) and called Tristan, Isolde, and Elena toward the back so that they could all practice together.

Arthur settled in his seat so that he was facing the back of the bus, his left leg bent against the seat and his back pressed against the seat that he was originally facing. Gwaine moved so that he sat in the seat Arthur was leaning against, since he was practically in the aisle due to the size of his drum pad that mocked the tenor drums that he played, and Tristan took his seat so that he could match his snare parts with Lance’. Elena and Isolde squished in the back with Percy and Leon so that all the bass drums, including Elyan, could hear each other’s parts over the noise of the bus and other students.

Once everyone was settled comfortably in their seats, Arthur began counting off and listened carefully as the group went through the part.

Fifty minutes later the buses were pulling up to Mercia High School, the host school that wasn’t in their division due to how large their band was, but Arthur knew that they could easily beat their band if they were ever in the same division. Everyone filed off the bus and began taking out their instruments and finishing dressing themselves, but leaving their hats behind on the bus to grab before heading off to the field.

Mr. Gharrah gathered all the horn members and took them off to a private section of the school, marching in-step in two lines with Arthur keeping the beat by clapping his hands. They found a hiding spot behind a building where everyone squished as close as they could get to fit in the shade. The drumline and pit stayed behind to finish unloading the truck and find their own place to practice. The colorgaurd also went off to find a place to practice their movements, dressed in gray spandex with dark red tunics that hung to their thighs, small red capes hanging off their shoulders, gray grip gloves that were decorated to look like gauntlets, their hair pulled back tight into buns, and their faces devoid of heavy make-up but made to look like they were dirty.

Even after performing for three years, Arthur’s heart still pounded in his chest from nerves as the band did their breathing exercises and began warming up. It felt worse that all Arthur had to do was stand up and conduct for a bit and his part was done, he wouldn’t be on the field helping create the sound. Arthur supposed being the one everyone looked to to keep the beat was important enough, but Arthur wanted to do more.

As a group they ran through their warm-ups at their normal pace, skipping a few pieces out of their usual ten warm-ups due to time constraint. The band glided through the scales and long notes and finally began working on their show. Arthur concentrated on his arm motions, remembering when to dip down one of his arms and bring it up on the crescendos and do the reverse on the diminuendos. He stayed concentrated, and was glad when everyone else did the same. Even Merlin refrained from making faces at him and focused on the music.

Forty-five minutes passed quickly, and Mr. Gharrah herded the students back into two lines and led them all to where the drumline and pit had set up. Behind them the colorgaurd was already ready to begin doing a few run throughs together.

While the band set themselves up to face the arc the other half of the band made, Arthur picked up his snare that had been brought over by one of the pit members and practiced his solo and few times quickly by himself, keeping his head up, but his eyes drooping slightly in concentration.

Once the band was set up, Arthur had to begin conducting and set down his drum. He called the band to a set position and then commanded a horns up, pushing his arms up in the air where he would begin his movements, and the required members brought their instruments into playing position. Minutely tapping his fingers a few times to get the correct rhythm established in his head, Arthur began to count off and started off the first run through.

During the drum break, Merlin had to do his part of ‘dressing’ Arthur and moved over to where Arthur was standing, waiting the appropriate amount of beats it would normally take to accomplish the task of moving off the field. Since they had practiced this so many times, it had gotten easier to shove the harness under the jacket and quickly zip it up before settling the drum onto the hinges.

Arthur got to watch Merlin conduct as he marked time and played his part, observing how his arms flowed easily from the down beat into the second beat and back out against before seamlessly flying upward again. They had spent some time together after practices perfecting Merlin’s conducting, standing face to face as Merlin matched his motions and pace. Merlin mostly avoided eye contact, but Arthur thought that it was normal, and that Merlin wanted to focus on harmonizing himself with Arthur perfectly, even though it was okay for different conductors to have different styles of conducting.

They ran through the music two more times, stopping a few times so that Mr. Gharrah, Gaius, or Alice could make minor adjustments that they thought needed changing. Annis, on the other hand, had no problems yelling at the girls if they made a mistake while still running through the music. After the last run through, the whole group had to quickly gather their belongings and their hats, Arthur left his snare, as did Merlin with is clarinet, on the corner of one of the carts that a parent was going to pull onto the field that held all the random pit instruments like the wind chimes and bells. Instead, Arthur and Merlin had the luxury of rolling Jarvis out onto the field.

The band was quiet as Lance kept beat with his snare and they walked over to the field, the colorgaurd following behind the band, their arms full of flags, poles, and sabers. They were all following Mr. Garrah who was winding his way through the school toward the football field.

Arthur and Merlin walked with the pit members who were pushing their xylophones and marimbas and making loud noises as the flimsy wheels rolled over bumps in the concrete.

“Nervous?” Merlin whispered to Arthur as the field came into view, his padded shoulder pressing against Arthur’s.

There weren’t many people in the stands since it was still early in the day and they were only the sixth band to go, the last in their division. The band ahead of them was just starting to get ready to play.

Arthur gave Merlin a look and said firmly, “Of course not, idiot.”

“Oh,” Merlin frowned, “but I thought everyone was nervous. Especially since it’s our first competition and your first time really conducting, you know.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“You sure?” Merlin teased innocently, but still keeping his voice down to a whisper. “You don’t sound very relaxed to me.”

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur scolded and shoved his shoulder into Merlin’s making the other boy lose balance and take a step in order to regain it. Thankfully, he managed to not pull on the podium in order to balance himself out or else Arthur might have fallen over too.

“Asshole,” Merlin grumbled.

This made Arthur chuckle and he began to feel his shoulders relax. Truthfully he _was_ nervous, but he didn’t want anyone else to know.

Merlin was smiling when Arthur looked over, and Arthur found himself returning it, perhaps looking at him a bit longer than strictly necessary. Merlin had a strange knack for manipulating Arthur’s emotions. The other boy could get Arthur to feel better from just being himself and Arthur couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not.

After waiting a little over five minutes lining up against the fence that surrounded the rubber track, the band before them started clearing the field. A few seconds after the band was off the field and the track and on their way onto the concrete, they were allowed to walk on the field and set up. The band marched onto the field, keeping their two lines before they reached the middle of the field and were forced to disperse to their beginning spots, the colorguard placing their equipment in their proper spots across the field.

While the band moved, an announcer began reeling off their school name and show name as well as all the names of the instructors and Arthur’s as drum major, Merlin’s as assistant drum major, Lance’s as drum captain, and Nimueh’s as colorgaurd captain. 

Arthur and Merlin rolled out the podium and swiftly set it up on the black rubber track by the edge of the grass at the fifty yard line. The pit members put their instruments in place in the space between the podium and the sideline. It only took a few seconds to prop up Jarvis and then two boys moved away to grab their instruments off the cart that they were pulled in on.

Arthur felt his blood thrumming through him as he carried his snare to the forty yard line and set it next to the sideline.

“See you at the end, yeah?” Merlin whispered to Arthur, pulling at the white fingerless gloves on his hands.

Arthur quirked his lips as Merlin grinned at him. Suddenly Arthur started to feel a little more relaxed. He had rehearsed this so many times he could conduct the whole show in his sleep. “Yeah,” he huffed with a short laugh.

“Good luck,” Merlin whispered one last time.

Arthur returned the sentiment back to the skinner boy and watched for a few seconds as Merlin walked quickly over to his spot. 

Taking a deep breath, Arthur climbed up the steal podium and stood tall, and comfortably at the top. He watched as everyone stood in their places at attention and the few judges on the field moved around the edges in observance. Arthur couldn’t believe how fast the time had flown to the point that this was his first competition of his final year; it was surreal. He was proud of everyone for getting to where they were now. Edwin on the baritone had vastly improved since the year before, Gilli had gained more confidence with the xylophone, Jonas was getting the hang of the whole marching on the beat, and Helios, the only tenor sax player, started standing out as a leader of the sax section. Arthur had a feeling that they could easily place in the top three, it was only a matter of everyone playing like that always had at practice: flawlessly.

Arthur was shaken out of his thoughts when the announcer asked, “Are the judges ready?...The judges are ready. Albion High School, is your band ready?”

Swiftly Arthur spun around on his heel and displayed the new yearly changed salute to the audience and the judges in the box. Immediately after the announcer said, “Albion High School, you may enter the field in class 1A competition.”

Arthur did another last about face back toward the field. Breathing deep and settling his nerves, Arthur called the band to the set position and then a band horns up, his arms rising with the last command.

Taking a second to give everyone a moment to prepare, Arthur tapped his fingers to the pre-established beat and then began to count off when he was ready. “One. Two. One, two, three, four.”

  


Whoever said that marching band wasn’t a sport clearly had no idea of the physical strain a field show had on a person. First off, you’re constantly on the move, and at times had to cover unfathomable distances in such a short time period. Merlin had to move about thirty yards in five seconds without running, all the while having enough breath support to keep a steady and clear sound through his clarinet. It took a lot of talent and practice in order to accomplish it.

Breathing alone was hard due to fast cadences and holding long notes while their bodies flew over the field. It took concentration to keep in formation and to make sure all the lines stayed straight, because if even _one_ person was a step out of line, the whole picture would look off to the crowd. The pinwheels had to turn seamlessly as the marchers pivoted impeccably from marching backwards to forwards in just one step. And as everyone made curves that flowed across the field, the spacing between each person had to be equal. They also had to make sure to stay out of the way of the colorgaurd as they twirled their flags so closely to the band members. Merlin especially was wary of Sophia who lately seemed to get closer and closer to Merlin with her saber in every practice.

The only _real_ fun part about performing was having the judges on the field. There were about three judges on the field, and each judge was tailored to watch for a specific element: marching style, colorgaurd technique, etc. They would walk around through the members with tape recorders held up to their lips, catching their thoughts about the performance from a close-up view, and avoid the band members whenever a formation took on a different shape. Almost everyone wanted to have the honor of knocking into one of the judges. Morgause had almost brained a judge with her slide two years ago, and Mithian, another trombone player, but a junior, had the pleasure of scaring a judge into ducking when she did a quick about face the year before. This year, though, Merlin wanted a chance to hit a judge, but the clarinet did not help this desire.

The first two movements of the show went by smoothly, and Merlin could hear that his section was hitting their notes perfectly, but he couldn’t keep a full eye on their marching. Merlin’s eyes were trained on Arthur. Arthur who stood tall on top of the podium, his face set with a determined look to get the band through the performance as best as he could. With Arthur’s confidence so clearly presented, it gave Merlin confidence.

The short, third movement was the buildup that led to the climax – the drum break. It was a song that had started out slow then suddenly gained speed as the tension of the music grew. The concept was that it would mirror the hardest part of war, the lull in the middle of a long campaign, or battle before the fighting got tough and everyone was pushing just a bit harder to gain the upper hand.

As soon as the drum break hit, the horn instruments finishing with a quick high note and a horns down, Merlin moved as fast as he could off the field and watched as Arthur climbed down the podium.

Merlin, since he wasn’t that far from the forty yard line, had reached Arthur’s snare at the same time as the other boy. With slightly shaking hands from the adrenaline running through his system, Merlin placed his clarinet on the ground, unbuttoned and unzipped Arthur’s jacket and quickly shoved the harness underneath. After zipping it back up, Merlin attached the snare to the harness before grabbing two of the four sticks sitting in the pockets (extras in case Arthur should drop one or god forbid both) and handing it to Arthur.

Once he was done Merlin threw Arthur a smile, who returned it readily. At the same time they turned away from each other, Arthur slowly walking toward the fifty yard line where the drumline was crab walking their way across the field to back up Arthur, like he was leading the final charge, and Merlin quickly made his way around the pit and up the podium.

Merlin could feel his hands shaking with nerves as he looked out over his fellow band members. All of their eyes were on him, or at least most of them were. But his eyes locked onto Arthur who had brought his arms up from their resting place by his sides, and Merlin could see Arthur giving Merlin a faint nod. The nod made Merlin smile to himself, relax a bit, and raise his arms. Tapping out the rhythm Arthur had drilled into him with his fingers, Merlin listened to the drumline and began to silently count off to a different beat than what the drumline had established at the preplanned part.

Arthur began to play his part, a complicated piece that included everything from drum rolls that could easily turn sloppy, quickly shifting from triple accented strokes to double flam strokes, paradiddles that varied in noise level, and throwing in flare of backsticking and rim shots. On top of all this, stick height also played a part, the high the pull back, the louder the noise and vice versa. It was up to Arthur to make sure that his technique was spot on and that each hit gained the desired sound.

The band counted on Merlin’s conducting to move together in time since it was hard to find the beat within Arthur’s solo. Also, Enmyria, a pit member on the marimba, was playing long notes underneath Arthur’s sound to support him. She counted on Merlin to stay on beat so that she could match up with Arthur.

From his vantage point, Merlin watched as everyone took the planned routes across the field. Arthur made slow steps forward, the drumline doing the same behind him, looking like an army encroaching in on enemy territory. Around them Helen and Vivian performed a mock sword fight. They ran around Arthur and through the drumline, striking at each other, and at one point Helen threw Vivian to the ground who gracefully rolled back onto her feet and continued the fight.

Quickly Arthur’s solo came to an end as the drumline slowly made their presence known again with a soft entrance before hitting their stride once Arthur had finished. Merlin climbed down after he signaled a cut to the band who stopped in their places to do choreographed movements while the drumline continued marching.

Merlin met Arthur at the sideline and rapidly undid everything. “Good job, man,” Merlin whispered as he zipped up the jacket.

“Thanks,” Arthur replied. “You too.”

Merlin grinned as he reached down to grab his clarinet and hurried onto the field to fill the empty spot designated for him. By the time Merlin reached his spot and faced the stands, the drum break came to end, ending the show where they were supposed to instead of the true end.

Merlin took a deep breath as the crowd began to cheer. A small grin appeared on his face as sweat rolled down the side of his face. They had completed their first show and now only had three more to go before his senior marching band year was over. The thought was both thrilling and depressing.

On the field, Lance began to tap out a beat, telling all the members to marching into their preplanned spots in their custom two lines. Merlin bypassed the lines in order to make his way to the front and helped Arthur dismantle the podium. Together they rolled it out quietly and the rest of the band also made their way off the field and back towards the buses.

By the time they made it back to the buses, Merlin was tired. The adrenaline from the show had worn off and Merlin was left sweating like a pig in his uniform.

“Instruments away,” Mr. Garrah called out over the students. The drumline and pit members were dropping their instruments by the truck and making noise with every case they popped open or mallet they accidently dropped on the concrete. “Boys take the back bus, girls take the front. No one’s allowed to start changing until _everyone_ has gotten their clothes off the bus and no one’s allowed back on the opposite bus until _everyone’s_ done changing. Alright? Good! Get changed! You have twenty minutes ‘til lunch.” The boys bus was parked behind directly behind the girl’s bus and the truck was parked next to the buses, but level with the second bus.

Thankfully Merlin’s clothes were on the second bus so he didn’t have to move his belongings in order to change. Merlin picked up his clothes hanger and the accompanying cover as well as his clarinet off the cart. He chatted to William, a sophomore in his section, about how well he thought the performance went for himself. William, on the other hand, was a bit more skeptical.

As Merlin climbed onto the bus, the girls were complaining about the boys making the bus smell, and Merlin was sure as hell the boys were complaining about the exact same thing on the other bus as their gathered their clothes.

Some of the drumline and pit kids had to stay outside and help load the truck back up, but Gwaine (since he was more of a hindrance than actual help), Elyan, the younger members and the girls all were able to get changed.

Since Merlin, Gwaine, and Elyan were the only boys in the last four rows, they were able to spread out. Merlin hooked his hanger and cover over the edge of the lowered window. Merlin took of his jacket and hung it on the hanger, leaving him in his slacks and tucked in white undershirt.

“Merlin, did you see Elena almost eat shit on the slide at the beginning of the show?” Gwaine laughed behind Merlin.

Merlin turned around to Gwaine as he pulled off the suspenders and began toeing off his shoes. Of course, Gwaine already had his shirt off, standing unabashedly in the middle of the aisle and Merlin quickly reverted his eyes to his shoes to prevent himself for staring.

“No,” Merlin replied smiling as lent over to pull out his jeans and place it on the seat. “What happened?”

“Oh, you know Elena, tripped over her own feet crab walking toward the sideline,” Gwaine answered, clearly amused.

“Again,” Elyan added as he pulled his blue shirt over his head and tugged it down to his waist.

“Again,” Gwaine parroted. “It was hilarious, but I’m really glad she didn’t fall or else she would’ve knocked into my quads and that wouldn’t have been pretty.”

Merlin stood between the empty seats that were vacant of bags as he slipped off his slacks and tried his best to quickly shimmy into his jeans. He was aware of his pale, thin legs that weren’t toned and tanned like most of the other boys. Merlin still felt awkward changing in front of other people, no matter how many he’s been in locker rooms or squashed in the bus. He knew that his body wasn’t completely horrible, but he still didn’t compare to other people.

As Elyan and Gwaine continued to comment on whether it would have looked funny if Gwaine went out of his way to knock over a judge just for the kicks, Merlin moved back to his original seat and began shifting through his backpack, pulling out a stick of deodorant and his black Cold War Kids t-shirt. Merlin tugged at the neck of his white shirt and began pulling it over his head. His head popped out easily, but his elbows got temporarily caught on the sleeves.

“Can’t even get out of your shirt properly, can you?”

“Shit!” Merlin blurted in surprise as he finally got his arms loose and dropped his shirt onto the seat. He turned to see Arthur standing there with a look of amusement on his face. “I can get out of my shirts just fine.”

Arthur nodded slowly and mockingly, making Merlin roll his eyes and huff in annoyance. When Merlin looked back to Arthur, Arthur’s eyes were focused on his chest. Merlin looked down to see that he was still shirtless. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red and he subconsciously crossed his arms over his chest as if it actually blocked anything from view.

Arthur cleared his throat. “Can I get my stuff?”

Merlin looked back up. Arthur was now avoiding looking at him in general and was focused on his bag that was on the floor beside Merlin.

“Oh, yeah,” Merlin said, snapping into gear. “Sorry, uh, yeah.” He quickly stepped back, out of the way, letting Arthur lean over to grab his backpack. Behind him, Merlin could hear Gwaine laughing, whether it was directed at Merlin or not, Merlin didn’t bother turning around to find out. He was already embarrassed enough, thank you, Gwaine.

As Arthur moved to the row of seats in front of Merlin, Merlin slipped into his shirt and rubbed a new coat of deodorant under his armpits by shoving his hand up and underneath his shirt.

As luck would have it, the moment Merlin sat down and showed a sign of weakness of looking at Arthur, Merlin was rewarded with the sight of Arthur bending over to take off his slacks. A furious blush worked its way across Merlin’s cheeks as he helplessly stared at the curve of Arthur’s backside that was covered only by Arthur’s gray boxers. Arthur’s legs were a golden color that gradually became paler as it neared his upper thighs and was covered with dark blonde hairs. And Arthur’s ass curved perfectly like a peach and would fit well in the palms of Merlin’s hands. And…well, Merlin knew that that wasn’t going to be a sight that he was ever going to forget for a while.

Swallowing roughly, Merlin turned his head away and began putting on his shoes. The image was still burned into his memory no matter how hard he tried to start thinking of something else.

Making sure that he had his wallet and phone in his pockets, Merlin said goodbye to the other boys. He grabbed his now hanging uniform and rapidly made his way off the bus. The sight of Arthur bare-chested and stretching his arms over his head following him as he scrambled onto the pavement.

  


After changing and making sure all the equipment was put away, all the members started eating the lunch that the parents organized and brought along. Like usual it was sandwiches and bags of chips. Arthur sat on the undercarriage of the bus, flanked by Leon on his left and Elyan on his right. At their feet Gwaine and Percy sprawled on the concrete.

Behind Gwaine, Elena, Mithian, Isolde, and Tristan sat in a group, and beyond them were Merlin, Gwen, Lance, Freya, and Drea. The fourteen on them, and handful of other students, hid in the little shade that the bus provided. Arthur found his eyes often straying towards Merlin, especially when he heard their small circle crack up with laughter, but more often than not when Merlin’s hands were gesturing wildly with whatever he was talking about. He tried his best to stop looking because it would be hard to explain away why he kept staring off behind Gwaine at random moments. Arthur wouldn’t know what to say.

After they ate Mr. Gharrah gathered them around for a quick meeting before they were allowed to go off and watch the rest of the performances.

“It was a good show,” the band instructor said genially. “Not perfect of course, we still have a lot of work to do. I’m not sure if Arthur felt it, but we’re still slowing it a down a bit at the end of the first song and I hope I don’t have to tell you how dangerous that is. I’ve told you all time and time again to be half a beat ahead or else we’re going to be off.

“I found some things we’ll need to fine tune drill wise, especially the one section where the saxophones move through the battery. The parts we did stop and spend time on were executed well, but on Monday don’t expect practice to be easy. We have to finish the last few pages of the drill.

“Now, all of you head over and sit together on the away side. I’ll come back and get the leaders for the awards an hour beforehand so that you all can get changed again.”

With Mr. Gharrah’s dismissal, all the band members began walking back towards the stadium, some walking faster than others. The drumline group as well as Merlin, Gwen, Freya, and Drea all walked like snails. The group of ten weaved though each other, everyone talking to someone different every few seconds or so, but Arthur found himself sticking to Merlin’s side, talking about the competing bands and how well their performance stood up to the other schools’ usual standings.

The majority of the group bypassed looking at the vendors. Freya stayed behind with Drea to look around since it was her first competition. After three years all the t-shirts and buttons with witty instrument sayings all looked the same and they had already eaten so food was out of the question.

Unfortunately the visitor side of the stadium was tilted more toward the sun, so although it was midday and the sun was high in the sky, by the time it became two or three in the afternoon, the sun would be start shining in their eyes.

For some reason unbeknownst to him, Arthur was happy when he sat down next to Leon and Merlin dropped down onto the metal bench beside him without breaking the conversation. There was a time where Merlin would have stopped and walked all the way to the other side of the group to avoid sitting next to Arthur. The fact that Merlin didn’t even hesitate to sit down made Arthur feel good.

Band after band arrived, and played their field show and most of the bands sitting down on the visitor’s side sat quiet and watched in support. It was harder to judge the other bands since they were sitting at the band’s back, but you could still see all the formations and hear the music once it rebounded off the opposite stands and flowed to their side. Arthur kept his eye on the drum majors and the drumlines, subconsciously comparing himself and his friends to the others. It was what everyone tended to do, watch the section that you were a part of and compare, it was only natural.

Arthur would deny that he _jumped _when Merlin knocked his knee into his before leaning over to whisper something about the terrible angles that the clarinets held their instruments. Merlin did that often, knocking his knee or elbow into Arthur in order to gain his attention before saying something to him, it made Arthur smile.__

Hours later, when the sun was setting, Mr. Gharrah had gathered Arthur, Merlin, Lance, and Nimueh and ushered them back to the buses. Nimueh hadn’t changed out of her uniform, but she got the chance to take off her sweats and reapply any make-up that got messed up during the day. Arthur, Merlin, and Lance all quickly changed on the bus, working with what little light was left of the setting sun.

Since there was still time before they needed to gather with the other captains from the other bands, Arthur went over the salute with Merlin and Lance even though he knew they knew how to do it. Nimueh practiced her short dance that was the colorgaurd salute.

Ten minutes later, Mr. Gharrah led them to where they had first entered the field there were at least ten other bands leaders there already. Mr. Gharrah left them in the hands of the coordinators before he went off to find Gaius and go to the director’s tent where they would receive the scores and recorded tapes from the judges.

Arthur had been the only one who had participated in the award ceremonies the previous year, so he knew what to expect. The coordinators lined them up according to their performance order and instructed each to group to stand arm in arm; Nimueh on the far right, Merlin next to her, Arthur on Merlin’s left, and Lance on the end. It was a little odd having to hook his arm in with Merlin’s, it made him feel hesitant and twitchy. Usually Arthur became nervous as soon as they were on the field and waiting for the results, but his blood was rushing before they even began moving onto the field.

One by one the groups were called out onto the field, the respective band members and supporters in the stands cheered with each school name announced. They all lined up shoulder to shoulder with space between each group to form a semi circle that reached both of the thirty yard lines. Once they were set they were able to let go of each other’s arms and stand at the ready.

Soon, the awards began, and Arthur was hoping, _praying_ , they at least achieved something to bring home. Their percussion was advanced, their colorgaurd flawless, and their horn section sound. He would be disappointed if they received no less then what they deserved for all their hard work. And Arthur would be left wondering if there was something that he could have done to give them those extra few points that separated first from second and second from third and third from fourth.

Arthur wanted to win. It was his last year and he wanted to end every competition going home with an award. What better to win than with his best friend and his…good friend, standing by his side.

  


They ended up in third out of six bands in the overall with 74.3 points, earning the smallest award. The drumline got second place, winning an award, and the colorgaurd came in fourth. Unfortunately they did not win any sweepstakes, which was when a band achieved the highest score no matter the size of the band. Since Albion High was so small, they were placed in the smallest category, and for the sweepstakes they were pitted against the next two larger categories as well.

Everyone was ecstatic with their prizes, and even though Morgana wasn’t clamoring to see the award like everyone else, Merlin knew that she was secretly proud as well. The best part was seeing Arthur light up with their win. His smile was wide, showing off his crooked teeth, and Merlin loved it.

Merlin sagged against the wall of the bus, trying to get comfortable in what little space he had with Arthur squirming beside him as he talked to the people behind them. Merlin was tired and wanted to sleep.

“Oh my God, Arthur, stop moving so much,” Merlin groaned and when he didn’t stop jostling in his seat, Merlin shoved at his back. He then tried to get closer to the wall, his head resting against the window. His legs itched from the fabric of the slacks, not having time to change against before leaving and he couldn’t find a comfortable position to rest in.

Arthur turned in his seat towards Merlin and Merlin lifted his head to hear what the other boy had to say. “Oh, I’m sorry, _Mer_ lin, are you trying to sleep?” Arthur asked sarcastically.

“Yeah, so stop being an asshole and sit still,” Merlin bit back annoyed.

“Fuck, man,” Arthur replied like he was trying to appease Merlin. “Could’ve just said so.”

“And would you have listened?”

“Yes,” Arthur immediately said, the corner of his lips tugging downward.

Merlin paused. “Oh,” he replied ineloquently. He was glad it was dark because the tips of his ears were most likely glowing from embarrassment. “Sorry.”

Arthur shrugged. “Just go to sleep.”

Merlin nodded slightly watching Arthur as he leaned over and pulled out his headphones, obviously not going back to the conversation behind him. Merlin leaned his head back onto the window as the light from Arthur’s iPod lit up, piercing the darkness of the bus.

Closing his eyes, Merlin tried his best to fall asleep. It had been a long day of hanging out in the sun and his energy was shot. But behind closed eyes all he was aware of was Arthur’s presence, the knee less than an inch away, the shoulder almost brushing his, it made Merlin’s body alert to their proximity.

Somehow Merlin had managed to get some shut eye. He awoke to Arthur gently shaking his shoulder as they entered the school’s parking lot. Merlin opened his eyes slowly and blinked owlishly at Arthur who was looking at him with an expression that Merlin couldn’t place. Merlin gave Arthur a small smile of thanks before stretching his limbs and rolling his neck, feeling a tweak from the odd position he had rested his head.

Merlin pulled out his cell phone, a crappy flip phone that his mother had once used with the promise of a new one when he went off to college, and sent a text to his mother telling him that they had made it back to school in one piece and would be on the way home soon.

As soon as the bus stopped, everyone was getting up and grabbing all their belongings. They all filed off the bus, their arms ladled with bags and their boxes for their hats. Merlin, Arthur, and a few others unloaded the buses of their instruments and equipment as the drumline and pit members began to rapidly unload the truck and move all their belongings back to their rightful places in the music room. It was a short walk to the music room, and everyone quickly put their instruments back in their lockers and all of their other belongings back in their places.

Merlin helped the parents put away the hats, stacking them up in the same room they kept he uniforms, and then headed outside to help load out the last of the pit instruments. There weren’t many people left around, Mr. Gharrah, Gaius, Alice, and Annis were all gathered in Mr. Gharrah’s office with the door closed as they talked. The number of parents around dwindled until just two were left to watch over the kids who were still waiting to be picked up.

Together, Merlin, Arthur, and Lance all changed in the back storage room. Merlin pointedly changed with his back to Arthur lest he get another eyeful, not that he minded, but it could only get potentially awkward if he did again and he didn’t think it would be as subtle as it was last time.

Once they were done, they said their goodbyes to the instructors and found that they were the last of the students left. Usually Arthur would have given Morgana a ride, but she had left earlier with Morgause since Arthur had to stay back and help. They moved out to the parking lot with the backpacks on their shoulders talking about their Economics assignment.

Lance split off from them first, his car being the closest to the music room.

Merlin and Arthur were quiet as they walked towards their cars which weren’t too much farther away. Merlin was nervous about being alone with Arthur. On the bus and during the competition there were many people around so he had other things to focus on besides the boy beside him.

“So we did good today,” Merlin said cheerfully, contradicting the tiredness he had displayed only hours ago.

Arthur smiled crookedly. “We did,” he agreed bumping his elbow into Merlin’s, making Merlin’s pulse spike. “And your conducting wasn’t completely hopeless.”

Merlin looked at Arthur to see him looking amused, letting Merlin know that he was only joking. “Shut up,” Merlin mumbled as he grinned.

“Have you studied for Calc yet? The test on Wednesday?” Arthur asked suddenly as they neared Arthur’s car. A bright red truck that Merlin though suited him perfectly.

“Not yet, I have to study for Chem first.”

“Oh yeah, that’s Monday right?” Arthur asked and Merlin nodded. “Wanna study on Tuesday after school since we won’t have practice? We could go to mine.”

Merlin came to a stop as they reach Arthur’s car, his heart pounding in his chest. In any other situation this could be seen as a certain kind of invitation, especially since Arthur looked uncommonly anxious. But Merlin knew that only studying would be involved.

“Um, uh, yeah. Sure. Definitely,” Merlin rambled while he was nodding, feeling like he was making a fool of himself.

“Cool,” Arthur grinned. “I’ll see you Monday.”

Merlin didn’t know how he ended up in his car, but next thing he knew he was staring at his steering wheel trying his best to not squeal like a girl. Merlin had never been to Arthur’s house, not even through Morgana. The thought that he was going to spend more one on one time with Arthur made Merlin giddy.

Laughing to himself about how ridiculous he was acting about the situation, Merlin started his car and tried not to space out too much on about what had just occurred in case he got into a car accident.

On Monday, after dragging himself through his Chemistry test that he had studied all day Sunday for, and making his mother peel him away from his notes in order to rest his eyes and shove food down his throat, Merlin showed up to marching band practice feeling lighter now that the test was over and done with.

Merlin was at his locker turning the combination lock when Freya sidled up to him. “So what’s up with Arthur?” she asked, her voice a notch quieter than usual.

The padlock unlocked and Merlin was able to open the locker door. “What’re you talking about?” he asked confused as he opened his clarinet case and began putting it together.

Freya raised her eyebrows. “He was all over you on Saturday.” Merlin almost dropped the pieces of his clarinet.

“What?” he cried.

The girl laughed and ran a hand through her hair. It should have been awkward, talking to Freya about his crush, when they had gone out with each other at one point. It was Merlin’s sophomore year, Freya’s freshman, and Merlin liked Freya because they got on so well, but he unknowingly mistaken platonic feelings for romantic. He asked her out, thinking it was the thing to do when you liked someone (he was fourteen after all, it was a good time to start dating someone), but after three dates and two awkward kisses, they had both decided to just be friends. It was also after this experience that Merlin came to realize that he was gay and that was why he didn’t feel anything, but sisterly affection for the girl.

“He was not – you know, on Saturday,” Merlin sputtered.

“He so was,” she said. “He barely gave Leon the time of day, and he talks to the guy all the freakin’ time. And he was giving you these looks that did _not_ look extremely platonic.”

As much as Merlin loved hearing that Arthur was paying more attention to him more than one of his best friends, all it did was get his hopes up. Ever since Arthur had started talking to him and having normal conversations where he actually liked to hear Merlin’s opinions on matters, Merlin’s thoughts had started to slowly shift from _never going to happen in a million years_ to _Arthur actually doesn’t completely hate my guts_ to _maybe there might just be a chance… _and then when he stopped to think about it, he knew that it was all just wishful thinking. So far, all the signs that Arthur had shown have pointed to him being straight. He even dated Mithian the year before for almost four months before they had broken up and Arthur had no compunctions about making out with her in plain sight (almost ripping Merlin’s heart out in the process) during those months.__

“Freya,” Merlin said sternly. “Please.”

This made Freya looked down, chastised, before nodding and telling Merlin, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I just,” Merlin paused. He sighed as he finished attaching the mouth of the clarinet to the rest and grabbed a new reed. “I don’t want to get my hopes up is all.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Freya said. “I was just so happy for you, you know?”

Merlin smiled at her. Freya could be fiercely protective of Merlin at times, and she always looked out for him, which Merlin loved about her, it reminded him that there was someone out there that he could go to whenever he needed it.

“Yeah, I know,” he answered and squeezed her elbow.

  


It was strange to see Merlin in his house. He often had friends over, as did Morgana, but it was never Merlin. But he seemed to fit in his room, as weird as they may sound, it felt natural for Merlin to be there, smiling and looking relaxed.

Arthur sat at his desk, but was turned toward Merlin. Merlin was spread out on his floor (Arthur had hastily shoved all his clothes in his closet when Merlin used the bathroom) with his Calculus book open and his notes surrounding him. He had taken his shoes off too and his legs were kicking up and down slowly, Arthur’s eyes following the path of the gray toes back and forth. Arthur had felt the urge to lay down next to him, but quickly brushed away the idea, thinking that it might be weird for him to not even use his desk as it was obvious that he always used it.

Surprisingly, Arthur felt as though he was learning a lot from Merlin who liked to babble about limits and functions. He thought that they’d get off track and start playing video games, like most of his other friends had, but Merlin kept them on track and seemed to genuinely care whether or not Arthur understood a section of the math. If Merlin didn’t understand something, he’d ask Arthur to explain, and if Arthur didn’t understand, Merlin would explain. It was easy to revise with Merlin, at times they would throw insults at each other, but it was all teasing and they quickly moved on to what they needed to do.

It was nearing dinner time when they finished reviewing everything that was going to be on the test and it was at this time Merlin packed up his belongings to leave.

The time had gone by so fast that Arthur was rather disappointed when Merlin said that he had to go home for dinner. Rationally, he knew that he was going to see Merlin a few hours, but he couldn’t figure out why he wanted to tell Merlin to stay longer and perhaps eat dinner with his family, or they could go out and grab a bite to eat. He was being stupid.

Instead, Arthur found himself saying, “We should do this again.”

Merlin paused from shoving his book into his backpack and looked over to Arthur from where he kneeling on the floor. “What?”

“I said, _Mer_ lin, that we should do this again ,” Arthur repeated, making his tone seem more annoyed than he was and to cover up the fact that he was offering to hang out with Merlin more, even if it was to study. “You know, study for tests and stuff.”

“Oh, okay,” Merlin agreed, looking mysteriously flushed. “Just tell me when.”

Arthur grinned, “Perfect.” And Merlin smiled back, showing off his dimples. They sat there, smiling at each other and neither of them looking away for a few seconds before they heard the front door open and close, signaling the arrival of Arthur’s father.

The noise seemed to snap them out of a daze, Arthur clearing his throat and getting up from his chair and Merlin haphazardly closing his backpack and standing up. Together they left Arthur’s room and walked down the wooden stairs.

Thankfully his father seemed to have moved into the kitchen where Vivienne was preparing dinner, so Arthur didn’t have to do the awkward introductions. He waited as Merlin put on his Converse, and most pointedly _did not _trail his eyes down the curve of Merlin’s spine or his ass as he bent over, even if the more fitted clothes Merlin wore now showed off his body more. Arthur was just thankful that Merlin rarely wore those neckerchiefs anymore, those were definitely not fashionable in any sense, and Arthur didn’t have an ounce of fashion sense in his body.__

“So I’ll see you tomorrow,” Arthur said once Merlin successfully got his shoes on with much flailing.

“Yeah,” Merlin smiled as Arthur opened the door. Merlin walked out the door and turned back around after a few steps with a wave. “Bye.”

Arthur waved back and gave Merlin a brief nod.

Over the next few weeks Arthur saw Merlin more than he did of Leon and Lance. They studied a lot, especially after they told each other what top college they wanted to get into – Arthur USC of course, and Merlin, Stanford with early enrollment (Arthur being strangely disappointed with this information) – they knew that they had to keep their first semester grades up to make it in. Sometimes they got distracted an ended up watching movies or TV, or even Arthur thrashing Merlin at Call of Duty.

Arthur started learning more about Merlin, about how he was an only child who lived with only his mother. His father had died in a car crash when he was three and Merlin only a brief memory of him. Arthur learned that Merlin wanted to work with animals and most likely in a zoo (Arthur ignored the fact that Merlin looked like he expected Arthur to laugh at him).

Weeks flew by; there were more practices, study sessions, football games, and competitions. And every time Arthur found himself attached to Merlin’s hip, dragging Merlin off by the arm when he wanted to go somewhere else.

Arthur didn’t know why he felt like he needed to keep Merlin within arm’s length, but he knew that if Merlin wasn’t by his side, he felt awkward and his eyes automatically started searching for the other boy. He felt better when he could sling an arm around Merlin’s shoulder and get Merlin to smile like no one else did.

Something clenched in his stomach whenever Merlin laughed or his bright blue eyes crinkled from smiling too wide. His chest pounded in double time when Merlin would grab his arm or lean in closer to whisper something to him. The feelings were exhilarating and confusing. He didn’t know why he started turning into a puddle of goo on the floor of the music room when Merlin hooked his chin over the top of his music stand to smile at Arthur.

It was disconcerting and it sometimes kept Arthur up late at night as he mulled over his thoughts about Merlin. About _boys_. About when Ben Adams, who sat in front of him, asked to borrow a pencil and his hand shook when he handed his spare over and all he could think about how nice his ass was. About Mithian and how awkward and completely not aroused he felt when she stuck his hand down her pants and hers in his for the first and last time.

And then there was Will.

It was the last away football game at North Albion High, their rival school, so the stands were packed to the brim with students in red t-shirts, supporting their football team.

Their away game attire was simple, white t-shirts that had the Knight’s crest over the left breast and a pair of jeans. They mostly blended in with the crowd, and the few band members that usually couldn’t get into the games seemed excited about this one, feeding off the energy of everyone around them.

It was neck and neck for the first half of the game, each teach only scoring 14 points so far. During the half time, they had a ten minute break and they were allowed to go to the snack break if they were hungry or use the bathroom if they needed it.

Arthur was sitting and talking to Merlin, or more like explaining to Merlin what had happened so far in the game, when a round face brunette threw himself into the empty seat next to Merlin. The intrusion caused Merlin to turn away from Arthur.

“Will!” Merlin yelled with a laugh as he threw himself at the other boy, giving Will a hug. The action made Arthur frown.

Will laughed and squeezed Merlin in return. “Hey, Em. Still blowing hard?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Merlin replied as he pulled back, but held onto his shoulders. “What are you doing here? I thought you hated football games?”

“I do. But there’s this girl Veronica, and I’m this close to getting –”

“Okay, stop,” Merlin interrupted, throwing a hand up in Will’s face and making the boy laugh. “Don’t want to hear it.”

“Who’s that guy who looks like he’s going to shoot me in the face?” Will asked, nodding toward Arthur who didn’t look _that_ murderous, thankyouverymuch.

Arthur morphed his face into a tight smile when Merlin looked over to him with a grin. “Oh, that’s Arthur,” Merlin explained to Will, “he always looks like that. Arthur, this is Will, my best friend from Ealdor.”

Arthur offered his hand like any grown normal person would when meeting someone new, but all it earned him was a laugh from Will and a sarcastic handshake. Will then stole Merlin’s attention, trying to catch up on what little developments that had happened since they had last talked to each other the previous weekend.

Arthur, feeling rejected and a little angry, got up from his seat and moved towards the back where Gwaine was trying to flirt with Morgana who was leaning back against Morgause’s shoulder. No matter what other people said, people meaning Gwaine and Morgana, Arthur had not pouted nor flounced off like a jealous woman. Nor did he mad dog Will to the point where he didn’t even notice that Morgana started crumbling leaves in his hair.

Later, when he had time to examine the situation, Arthur realized that he was jealous. He was jealous that there was someone who Merlin was extremely close to that Arthur had never even heard of. He was jealous of their closeness, of how Merlin freely and easily knocked their shoulders together or patted Will’s forearm. There was always a hesitance from Merlin before he would make contact with Arthur, a beat like he was thinking it over before he would reach out and jab Arthur in the arm or kick at his legs while they were studying.

He didn’t want Merlin to be restrained around him.

And it was all these thoughts that made Arthur realize how important Merlin had become to him. But he wouldn’t let himself think about Merlin the way he had only a few nights before about Ben.

That was dangerous.

  


They had gotten first in their very last competition and Merlin felt like he was on a high for the rest of the month. Things were coming together for him.

He had finished all of his college applications, and talking to Mr. Taliesin for a letter of recommendation was terrifying and an experience he never wanted to repeat. Marching band had ended on a high note; even though Mr. Gharrah had told Merlin that he needed to fulfill his destiny and that he could not escape it, freaking Merlin out and sending him running for his car. He had straight A’s so far in each class and had done well on his Chemistry project.

The only problem Merlin had was Arthur. Arthur who acted very familiar with Merlin, always prodding and touching, smiling like he didn’t have a care in the world, and not until recently, texting him almost every day. Arthur kept inviting him over to his house to study, but after an hour or two they’d just end up talking about whatever was relevant.

Merlin knew that he was almost in love with the other boy. Even though Arthur thought it was okay to compare The Beatles to Queen, and Spaceballs to Young Frankenstein. And even though Arthur still sometimes said callous things to Merlin, but apologized seconds later when he realized what he said.

He didn’t need Freya telling him to know that there was something different about the way Arthur interacted with Merlin compared to a few months ago. Merlin didn’t like to think about it, because for all he knew, it was just the way Arthur acted around his close friends, so he ignored it. Ignored the skip of his heart when Arthur hugged him for the first time on the last day of the competition and they won first place. Ignored the way Arthur’s cheeks would turn red and turn away the moment Merlin looked over at him. Ignored how his breathing would falter whenever Arthur pulled him away from others and acted like they were in their own world.

If Merlin knew for certain how Arthur felt, maybe he would have made a move. But Merlin had his heart on his sleeve for so long that people had stopped giving him knowing looks whenever Arthur leaned into Merlin’s personal space, knowing that it hurt more to have Arthur so close rather than at a distance. Slowly his heart started aching from the exposure, and he knew a rejection would only shatter it.

Freya and Gwen tried their best to distract Merlin from his thoughts about Arthur, and they were successful more often than not, but they couldn’t be around all the time. They would drag him to mini-golf and invite him out to dinner, but once they left all he could think about was how it could be different if Arthur was the one to take him, if Arthur was the one to sit across him in the booth and give him that crooked, toothy smile.

Merlin was hopeless and desperate to get Arthur off his mind.

Merlin couldn’t say that he was completely surprised when Lucas asked him out on a date after Thanksgiving because the boy, more often than not, only grinned cheekily when Merlin caught him staring at him during class.

Chemistry had just let out, and Lucas had begun following Merlin on his path to the music room, babbling about how the hydrogen atoms would affect an equation. It was when they were rounding the last corner that led to the Arts building when Lucas pulled Merlin to the side, making Merlin frown in the process.

“What’s up?” Merlin asked hesitantly as his heart slowly started pounding in his chest.

Lucas grinned. “I don’t know if you…” he broke off and laughed awkwardly. “Aw, fuck it, I’m just going to ask you. Would you like to go out with me this weekend?”

Even though he asked confidently, Merlin could tell that he was nervous about it, his eyes betraying him.

“Like a date?” Merlin found himself asking, and then proceeded to mentally slap himself in the face. He already knew the answer to that: yes. The problem was that Merlin thought that he would be excited being asked out by a good looking boy for the first time, but all he could think about was Arthur.

“Uh, yeah. Like a date. You know when two people who like each other go out and have fun,” Lucas began explaining with a laugh, but then trailed off into a frown. “Unless you don’t actually like boys and my gaydar is totally off or you just don’t like me that way. And if either of those is the case, I’m just going to – ”

“No!” Merlin blurted, and blushed from the volume he said that at. “I am…gay, but, um, could I think about it? I mean, I’m not saying no, it’s just that this is very sudden and I –”

“Merlin,” Lucas interrupted with a smile and a hand to Merlin’s forearm. “Yeah, you can answer me tomorrow.”

Merlin smiled thinly. “Okay.”

Lucas stepped back. “Don’t look so scared, Merlin.”

“I’m not scared,” Merlin immediately retorted and then began laughing as Lucas waved and turned to walk away.

Taking a deep breath, Merlin went to the music room where they were practicing for their concert season in the second semester meaning that they were finally allowed in sit in seats for the whole class period instead of standing and marking time.

Merlin was intercepted by Freya a few feet from the door. “What are you smiling about?” she asked.

Merlin hadn’t realized that he was still smiling. Still smiling about the fact that someone had finally noticed Merlin, someone had feelings for him.

“Oh, um,” Merlin hesitated telling Freya the truth, but knew that it wouldn’t do well to lie to her about it. He quickly cast a look around and found that no one was near. “Lucas just asked me out on a date, actually.”

Freya’s expression turned from boredom to astonishment in a split second. She grabbed his arm to stop him from walking any further. “Lucas? _Lucas_? Oh my God, he’s so cute, please tell me you said yes.”

When Merlin hesitated to reply Freya, the girl squeezed his arm and whispered accusingly, “You said no?”

“No!” Merlin cried. “I told him that I’d think about it.”

At this Freya sighed. “We’re talking about this after class,” she told him firmly as the bell rang.

After an hour of mindlessly playing his clarinet, not even sure he played as well as he could have and for once glad that Arthur was at the back of the classroom with the percussion section, Freya cornered him and pulled him outside, taking him to the same area Lucas had dragged him to earlier.

“Okay, spill, what is there to think about?” she asked, keeping her voice low because there were people walking around.

Merlin worried his lip and shifted his jaw. “You know…”

When it was obvious Merlin wasn’t going to continue, Freya said gently, “No, I don’t know. Merlin, you need to tell me what you’re thinking. I can’t read what’s going on in your head.”

Merlin crossed his arms over his chest defensively and his eyes flickered to the music room door on the other side of the quad. “Arthur,” he said quietly.

The smaller girl sighed and mirrored Merlin’s movements by crossing her arms. She then placed a hand on her cheek. “I know that things have been…tough, where Arthur’s concerned, and I know that I’ve even encouraged the fact that Arthur’s been acting differently, but you can’t – you can’t wait around for Arthur forever. He’s had all this time to make a move on you and he hasn’t. I’m not saying that Arthur doesn’t have feelings for you and I’m not saying that you should give up on him. But maybe you should go out with Lucas, you know, get some experience or something. You don’t have to fall in love with him, or kiss him, or sign a long term contract, or go on a second date if you find out you don’t like him, or anything. Just go and have fun for a night with someone different, and try not to think about Arthur for once. Okay?”

Merlin could feel his throat constricting with every word Freya said. Liking and practically loving Arthur felt like all he had known. His feelings were all consuming, and it was like they wrapped themselves tightly around his heart every single day, potentially squeezing too tight, and one day it might be too much. But what was even more terrifying was letting go of those feelings, putting them on the backburner and moving on. It was a scary thought, letting go.

But Freya was right, even though it sounded like she was pushing him in the direction she wanted, Freya only wanted what was best for him. And Merlin trusted that, Merlin trusted the girl with his life. So even though he had feelings for Arthur that weren’t exactly being returned, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t able to go and see if it was possible for him to like someone else. Someone who clearly had feelings for Merlin and wasn’t afraid of showing them.

Merlin could feel himself getting worked up, his shoulders tense and his jaw clenched. It was hard to hear what Freya had to say, but Merlin agreed with what she was saying.

Rubbing at his face, Merlin took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’m gonna tell him yes.”

“Good,” Freya beamed at him and pulled him into a tight hug. She whispered to his chest. “I hope you like him; don’t let your feelings for Arthur hold you back.”

Merlin took those words to heart.

The next day during fifth period, Merlin had told Lucas his decision and was rewarded with what Merlin thought was the biggest smile he had ever seen from the other boy. After class they set up what time Merlin would pick up him up, since Lucas didn’t have his license yet, and planned to go out to eat and then catch a movie afterward. Normal first date kind of activities.

For the rest of the week, Merlin was distracted and he began pulling away from Arthur, talking more to the other boys or even with Morgana. Merlin felt guilty every time Arthur tried to talk to him alone and Merlin would brush him off with a flimsy excuse of needing to talk to some else. He felt even worse when he saw the hurt look upon his face when Merlin, for the first time, turned Arthur down for a study session for Economics.

By Friday, Arthur was practically avoiding Merlin; almost reverting back to where they stood two years ago. It was like a stab to the chest.

Merlin tried his best to push Arthur to the back of his mind the next day. He did well for the most part. He picked up Lucas and made good conversation with the other boy. Lucas made him feel at ease, and made him laugh easily. They went to the mall where they planned to eat at P.F. Chang’s before heading over to the theatre.

There was a fifteen minute wait. Fifteen minutes where Merlin felt like he was the center of Lucas’ world. Fifteen minutes where Lucas would casually place his hand on Merlin’s lower back, just subtle enough that no one else would notice. Fifteen minutes of Merlin laughing and enjoying being himself with someone who looked at him like he hung the moon and the stars.

The feeling was exhilarating, knowing that someone liked him like he always wanted. And Merlin could see himself liking Lucas in return. Lucas was bright and witty, cared more about sports than Merlin did, but didn’t begrudge the fact that Merlin had no interest.

After they sat down and ordered, a shrimp dish for himself and noodles for Lucas, Merlin got to know Lucas more. He learned about his family, and his plans for the future, and Merlin told him the same. Merlin smiled to himself when he felt Lucas’ ankle hook around his own and looked up to see Lucas smiling at him.

Conversation was easy, and not once did Merlin think about Arthur.

Trouble came after dinner when the two of them left the restaurant to catch their movie, Merlin still laughing from fighting over the bill, but ultimately losing. Merlin felt his heart beat with a steady but face paced thrum in his chest when he felt Lucas put his hand on his lower back and keep it there as they walked. It was a welcomed and constant pressure that kept Merlin smiling.

It was when they were about to get in line when Merlin heard his name and Lucas’ hand drop away from his back. Merlin recognized the voice easily and felt himself tensing up.

Slowly, Merlin looked up to see Arthur only a few feet away, but walking toward him; Leon, Lance, Gwaine, Percy, and Elyan right behind him, but hesitating when Arthur moved forward.

“What’re you doing here?” Arthur asked curiously. It seemed as though the fact that Merlin had been avoiding him earlier in the week was forgotten. “The guys said that you couldn’t come.”

Merlin quickly glanced behind Arthur to see Gwaine trying to mouth something to him and Leon making a face that screamed ‘go with it’.

“I had already made plans when they asked me,” Merlin replied smoothly, marveling how easy the words had come out of his mouth.

It was then Arthur noticed Lucas standing next to Merlin.

“Oh,” Arthur replied, a shadow of a frown flickered on his face before it was gone.

“I’m Lucas,” Lucas said, sticking his hand out when it seemed apparent when Merlin wasn’t going to introduce them.

Being polite, Arthur stiffly returned the handshake and grunted, “Arthur.” Merlin stared hard at Arthur, trying to wish him away, but at the same knowing that the night was already shot the moment Arthur said his name. There was no way Merlin would be able to forget about him now. His imagination was already making scenarios of Arthur staying and trying to subtly grab his hand in the dark theatre.

“Alright,” Gwaine said loudly, clapping Arthur on his shoulder and digging his fingers in hard. “Time to go.”

“Gwaine,” Arthur protested, trying to wriggle out of his grasp.

“See you guys later,” Gwaine told them both, throwing them a wink as he pushed Arthur past them, the rest of the boys following and giving Merlin sorry smiles.

As Lucas placed his hand back on Merlin’s lower back to usher him forward into the line, Merlin looked back at his friends. Arthur was watching him over his shoulder, their eyes met, and Merlin felt his cheeks heat up when Arthur’s eyes latched onto the hand on his back. Merlin turned away, not being able to face Arthur anymore.

The rest of the night passed by in a daze. Merlin couldn’t remember what the movie was about. He couldn’t remember if Lucas snuck his hand into his own grasp, trying to be sneaky. Merlin could only think about _Arthur, Arthur, Arthur_ and realizing that until he went to college, there could be no one else for him while Arthur could pop up into his life at any time unannounced.

Merlin couldn’t tell if Lucas noticed the change in him. He was a little bit more subdued, and couldn’t really talk about the movie since he didn’t pay attention, but Lucas nattered on enough for the both of them.

Merlin drove Lucas home and nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Lucas place his hand on his knee as he drove. The drive felt longer than it needed to be, probably since the radio filled the silence where there once was chatter.

Once Merlin pulled up outside Lucas’ house, Merlin put the car in park and gave Lucas a tiny smile that paled in comparison to the looks he had given the other boy before.

“So who’s Arthur?” Lucas asked suddenly, his voice soft. Merlin heard no accusation in his tone.

“No one,” Merlin replied with a sigh, keeping his eyes on the bottom of his steering wheel.

Merlin could hear Lucas tongue-ring knock against his teeth. “So that means someone.”

“There’s nothing going on between us,” said Merlin. He looked over to Lucas to see him studying Merlin’s face.

“You like him?” Again there was nothing accusing in his tone, more like he was curious.

Merlin didn’t want to hurt Lucas. Lucas was sweet and kind, he didn’t deserve this.  
“Yeah,” Merlin whispered and picked at his jeans.

“Does he like you?”

Merlin shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes it seems like there is, but other times…” Arthur was fucking confusing as hell.

Lucas turned his head away and looked out windshield. Sighing, he turned back to Merlin and took off his seat belt.

“Listen, I’ve liked you for almost a year now, and if I don’t get this out I’ll probably kick myself in the balls for not doing so,” Lucas admitted earning a laugh from Merlin. “I really like you, Merlin. You’re fucking gorgeous with a killer ass and you’re funny. So if that asshole doesn’t grow a pair and ask you out soon, then he’s definitely not worth it. You’re everything, Merlin. I just –”

Merlin was stunned speechless by Lucas’ words. He was even more speechless when the boy stopped talking and leaned toward Merlin, wrapped a hand around the back of Merlin’s neck and pressed his lips against Merlin’s.

Merlin wasn’t very experienced with kissing, he had kissed Freya twice, but they never lasted longer than three seconds.

Kissing Lucas was different. There was more pressure behind his lips and his lips were dry compared to Freya’s that were covered in lip gloss. Lucas pushed his lips against Merlin’s and sucked lightly, trying to coax Merlin to respond and reciprocate.

Lucas pulled away slightly and Merlin let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding before deciding that this was the least he could give to Lucas. He could give the boy at least one thing Lucas wanted from Merlin.

With his heart pounding in his chest, Merlin grabbed onto Lucas’ side and placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled the other boy back in. Merlin fitted his mouth over Lucas’ and felt his eyes slip close. Merlin felt the hand on his neck tighten and a hand clench at the fabric of his shirt. Merlin pressed forward and pulled back several times, giving Lucas a series of kisses and hoped that his inexperience didn’t show.

Lucas didn’t seem to care, returning the kisses eagerly and sucking on Merlin’s lips any chance he got. His tongue slipped out and stroked across Merlin’s lower lip, making Merlin’s breath catch. He ran his tongue back and forth before his lips nudged Merlin’s own open. Hesitantly, Merlin let his tongue meet Lucas’, the tip of his tongue prodding the other boy’s tongue ring and causing Lucas to whimper in the back of his throat. Lucas then sucked on Merlin’s tongue, making Merlin moan and his blood rush.

Lucas spent time exploring Merlin’s mouth, his tongue trailing over the roof of his mouth and across his teeth. Merlin followed Lucas’ lead and tried to remember to breathe.

The experience was fantastic, feeling the flat of Lucas’ chest press against his own, the roughness of Lucas’ chin against his own, rubbing his hands down Lucas’ side and Lucas running his hand through Merlin’s hair, messing it up even more.

Merlin gasped for air as Lucas pulled away slowly only to dive back in to give Merlin one last quick peck and hover close

“I’m not going to be second best,” the boy whispered as his hand moved from Merlin’s hair to his cheek and his thumb running over his cheekbone.

“I know,” Merlin whispered back.

Lucas sat back and let go of Merlin. He smiled at Merlin, his lips red and glistening. “I’ll see you in class.”

Merlin smiled back and nodded, knowing that there were no hard feelings between them. They were going to be okay.

  


Seeing Lucas touching Merlin in ways that Arthur wouldn’t even consider proper sent his heart sinking. The rest of the night he was in a mood. No matter how many times Gwaine got flipped off or Lance tied to politely tell girls that he was taken, Arthur still couldn’t get over the memory of Lucas’ hand on Merlin’s lower back. Arthur didn’t know if it was a wanted touch, if Merlin wanted Lucas to place his hand there, but the fact that Merlin didn’t shake it off or look like he wanted to made Arthur’s stomach twist in knots.

Arthur felt himself getting angry, but he had no right being angry. Merlin could be friends with whoever he wanted to be friends with. There was no law saying that once Merlin became his friend he wasn’t allowed to hang out with people Arthur didn’t know.

By Monday Arthur was still thinking about Merlin and Lucas, but it was more of a resigned anger toward himself for being angry in the first place.

There was still a knot in his stomach when Merlin sat in the desk to his right during first period. Arthur didn’t say ‘hello’ and Merlin didn’t say ‘hey jerkface’ while grinning like a loon. Arthur kept his eyes upon the scrawl of numbers written across his page while Merlin took out his belongings.

“So,” Merlin said slowly. Arthur glanced over to the other boy who was turned in his seat toward Arthur, fingers dancing across his knee and along the edge of his desk.

Arthur pressed his lips together as his eyes drank in the messy black hair and protruding cheekbones. His breath caught and Arthur looked away, nodding slowly.

“Want to study for the Lit test on Friday?” Merlin asked Arthur, his voice careful and slow.

He had to admit that he felt a little more than disappointed when Merlin said that he couldn’t make it to their study sessions the previous week. It was something that Arthur looked forward to during the week. He had missed hanging out with Merlin and arguing with him on whether or not a shark could beat a bear if one or the other became a land or sea animal. Arthur had found himself staring at the floor where Merlin would sprawl himself over the floor and grin up at Arthur as he explained where Arthur went wrong on his equation. Even Vivienne and Uther had asked after Merlin, more than used to seeing Merlin coming and going from their house frequently during the week.

Not wanting to seem desperate or eager, Arthur shrugged loosely and said, “Okay.”

The answering grin was enough to make Arthur half smile in return.

Things returned to normal after that. Merlin came over like usual and Arthur never felt like he was disturbing Merlin again whenever he sought the thinner boy out.

It was almost winter break when Merlin had received word back from Stanford. Arthur hadn’t been there when Merlin opened the letter, but he was there the next day to see Merlin looking sullen with a tightness around his mouth and eyes. 

Every morning, if neither were running late nor avoiding the other, Arthur met up with Merlin at their lockers. That morning, most of their friends were there, but standing away from Merlin who was slowly shoving books into his backpack. With one look at Merlin, Morgana had shoved Arthur at him and moved away to talk to Gwen who immediately started whispering to his bitch of a step-sister while glancing at Merlin.

He had no idea what was going on. Arthur stared at his friends, confused and awkward, waiting for someone to tell what the situation was. Morgana gave him a fierce look and nodded toward Merlin. Arthur didn’t need to be told more than twice when it came to Morgana.

Arthur shuffled over to Merlin’s side and from a profile view (a stunning profile that Arthur never thought about), Arthur could see the downturn to his lips.

“What’s up?” Arthur asked curiously as he leaned up against the lockers.

Merlin glanced at Arthur, his eyes only briefly matching up to Arthur’s before he began zipping up his backpack. “Nothing much,” Merlin replied.

Arthur raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Don’t lie to me, Merlin. Something’s wrong with you, I can tell, and I’ve been here for all of ten seconds,” Arthur said.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Merlin grumbled as he slammed his locker shut.

“Bullshit.”

Merlin started walking away, his jaw clenched, and Arthur immediately followed after him.

“You know how annoying I can get,” Arthur stated.

“You mean all the time?”

“Don’t be a bitch, Merlin, and tell me what’s wrong,” Arthur pressed. “It’s not your mother is it?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“I didn’t get into Stanford alright? There. Happy?” Merlin cried as he stopped to look at Arthur. “God, you’re so fucking annoying, Arthur.”

Arthur stood in place, stunned, as Merlin stomped off. The news gave Arthur mixed feelings.

He was disappointed for Merlin. He knew how much he wanted to get into Standford. Not only was it his first choice, it was also where his father had graduated from. Merlin had worked his ass off to get the grades, but didn’t get the early admission. There could be a chance that Merlin would be accepted with the regular admissions or appeal, but the odds were slim to none that they would change their minds.

Then, a small part of Arthur felt relieved. Stanford was upstate, about a six hour drive away. Arthur wasn’t comfortable with the thought of losing touch with the Merlin, because Arthur knew that distance really did make a different between friends. Even the best of friends could drift apart just by going to schools on the opposite sides of town.

Arthur ran to catch up to Merlin, and tugged him around by his elbow. “I’m sorry,” Arthur breathed as Merlin glowered at him. “I know how much getting into Stanford meant to you. And all the admissions officers are fucking psycho for not accepting you. But there are other schools that you applied to, some that you may like better. You applied to Berkley and San Diego and UCLA and practically all the UCs; you’re a shoe-in for one of them. Don’t let one rejection bring you down.”

Merlin was staring at his feet while Arthur was talking, but though his shoulders dipped into a more relaxed position, Arthur could see that Merlin was upset.

“I know, I’m being stupid,” Merlin grumbled and shoved his hands into the pockets of his black zip-up jacket. “It’s not the end of the world or anything.”

“Just feels like it,” Arthur added as the first bell rang. Arthur wrapped an arm around Merlin’s shoulders and began dragging him off to class. “Come on. You can come over today and we can play Halo until your thumbs feel like they’re going to bleed. Alright?”

Merlin huffed, but didn’t shove Arthur off of him. “Yeah, alright.”

Arthur grinned and automatically ruffled his hair.

By the end of the week Merlin was back to his normal self, but he never liked to talk about colleges anymore. Arthur knew that he would have been the same, if not worse, if he had done early decision to USC and got rejected.

Winter break started on the 22nd not leaving much time between school and Christmas for Arthur and any of his friends to hang out. Arthur, being a guy, didn’t find it necessary to buy and presents for anyone, but he did receive various candy canes and chocolates from his friends and acquaintances. And on Christmas his phone was bombarded with texts wishing him a Merry Christmas, and Arthur returned most of the sentiments, even Merlin’s text that read _merry xmas jerk_ , making Arthur laughed and replied _Merry Christmas asshole_.

After Christmas, Arthur went on a family trip to his grandparent’s house where he spent most of the four day trip watching movies with Morgana.

Needless to say, Arthur was bored out his skull by the time they left and was never happier to leave. Not that he hated his grandparents, they were lovely, but there was never anything to do in their house and they still had dial-up.

Luckily for him, Arthur had arrived home with a text from Gwaine informing him about a party that he was hosting for New Year’s Eve and to tell Morgana to come along and invite some of her volleyball friends too. Booze provided, but more was welcome.

Arthur glared at the part about Morgana, knowing that Gwaine only wanted to up the D to P ratio.

Then there was another text almost immediately after saying _also celebrating merlin’s 18th. let’s get him fucked up_

  


“Remember to call me if you or your friends need a ride okay? Or if Gwaine doesn’t have a place for you to sleep.”

“Okay, okay, Mom,” Merlin assured with a placating smile. “Got it.”

“Alright,” she sighed. “Drive safe, there’re crazy people on the road, and _don’t_ drink too much.”

“I know,” Merlin replied for the last time as he finished slipping on his shoes. He patted his pockets and made sure his had his wallet, phone, and keys.

Merlin turned towards his mother to see her with a look of concern, but smiling all the same. All of the annoyance of her pestering him about keeping safe washed away, he was her only son and she couldn’t help but be fussy and protective over him.

He took two steps and wrapped Hunith in a hug, her face just peaking over her shoulder. He remembered the days when he was shorter than her and had to stand on his tip toes to give her a proper hug.

“My baby’s growing up,” she whispered as she ran her hands up and down Merlin’s back.

Merlin smiled faintly as he pulled away. “Had to happen sometime,” he grinned.

“If I had my way it wouldn’t have happened at all,” she teased with a laugh. “You wouldn’t have grown any further than my waist.”

“Wishful thinking, Mom,” Merlin replied, moving toward the door and opening it, letting the cool air of the night trickle through.

“ _Merlin_ ,” his mother chastised with a fond look on her face. “Now have fun and text me in the morning.”

“I will,” Merlin replied before bounding out the door, letting his mother stand in the doorway as she watched him walk down the outdoor hallway of the apartment building and disappear down the stairs.

Merlin got into his crappy car that was parked on the street and smiled to himself. It was New Year’s Eve and he was going to Gwaine’s party which would also sort of moonlight as his birthday party, as he was born on New Year’s Day. He excitedly started the car and headed over to his friend’s house.

Gwaine had invited about 100 people and was providing all the alcohol because his older brother Gareth had lost a bet with him and buying him all the alcohol he wanted was the punishment.

Merlin had only drunken alcohol once before. Coincidently, it was also at Gwaine’s house, but for Gwaine’s birthday instead, back in May. There was only beer and some rum someone else had brought, but Merlin was conservative and only stuck with one can of beer since he was driving home later that night and he also didn’t know how his body would react. Safe to say, Merlin had immediately felt the effects of one measly can of shitty tasting beer, but just enough to warm his body and feel a little tipsy. Now Merlin knew that his tolerance wasn’t going to be very high.

Fifteen minutes later Merlin turned onto the street that Gwaine lived on and spotted several cars already parked along the curbs surrounding Gwaine’s house. Merlin still wasn’t good at parallel parking and had to park a little further down the street in order to find a spot by a driveway that he could pull into without much maneuvering.

He couldn’t help that his body was thrumming with excitement. It was going to be his first official party and he really hoped that he was going to have a good time. He knew that Gwen, Lance, and Freya were going to be there, driving together with Elyan since they all lived in the same area, so he was sure that he could hang out with them all night.

As Merlin walked up the drive and headed to the front door, he could already hear the bass of the music thumping through the door. Tentatively he twisted the door knob and found that the door was open. Pushing it back, the music and light filtered out and he could he hear voices layered over one another. Slowly he moved inside and closed the wooden door behind him.

Stepping out of the foyer, he saw groups of people standing and sitting in the living room, talking with red cups in their hands over the pounding hip-hop music pouring out of the speakers. Gwaine’s big screen plasma television was on, but muted, playing the prerecorded events from Times Square with Ryan Seacrest on screen with a microphone and earmuffs.

Merlin recognized most of the people occupying the room, but never really talked to them so he moved on toward the kitchen where he thought he heard Gwaine’s voice coming from.

Merlin entered the kitchen and saw about eight people. He had talked to at least two of the girls before, so Merlin was proud of himself for that. And, of course, there, standing next to the island where all the alcohol was set up, was Gwaine, flirting with a girl named Nicole.

As Gwaine flicked his hair and reached for a bottle, his eyes landed on Merlin standing awkwardly by himself.

“It’s the birthday boy!” Gwaine yelled, grinning while picking up the bottle he was originally reaching for and raised it to Merlin in a one man toast.

“Not yet,” Merlin replied diplomatically, feeling all the occupants of the room’s eyes on him.

“Close enough. Time for you to get shit-face though,” Gwaine laughed and waved Merlin over. As Merlin walked over, Nicole leaned over and whispered something in Gwaine’s ear causing him to wiggle his eyebrows when she leaned back. He grinned as she walked away.

Merlin raised his eyes in questioning when he stood next to Gwaine, but the other boy ignored his silent question. “We need a birthday shot,” Gwaine said instead.

“I’ve never done a shot before,” Merlin admitted quietly over the music. His eyes roamed over the different sized bottles with different color liquids and was more than happy to see the bottles of club soda.

“Not a problem, dude,” his friend replied as he grabbed two clean shot glasses from a stack on the side of the mountain of bottles. “Look what I got especially for you. And you can keep this as a birthday present, as long as you don’t mind that I didn’t get it with my money.”

Merlin watched as Gwaine grabbed a frosted white bottle and showed him the label. Merlin laughed as he read the word ‘Cake’ above the design of frosting and sprinkles.

“Does it actually taste like cake?” Merlin asked in awe. He knew that alcohol usually tasted pretty bad, but the idea that it could taste like an actual cake was pretty brilliant.

“Fuck yeah, man,” Gwaine grinned as he grabbed the bottle opener and quickly popped it open. Merlin watched as he poured out two shots and then poured out some soda into a red cup and placed it in front of Merlin.

“Here,” Gwaine said as he pushed the shot glass, that actually looked like a lot more than he could handle, towards Merlin. “Now, swallow it all at once if you can, like you’re taking a pill. If you can’t do it all in one, do it twice really quickly. And that’s” – he pointed to the red cup – “your chaser. Drink it after, obviously, either immediately or whenever you feel like it. Cake actually isn’t all that bad compared to the other vodkas and shit though.”

Merlin nodded along with what his friend was saying and tried to hide the fact that his hands were shaking slightly, whether from excitement or nerves, he didn’t know, but it was embarrassing.

“Alright, let’s do this.” Gwaine picked up his shot and Merlin mimicked him. “Now look into my eyes as we toast or else it’s seven years of bad sex and I don’t ever want that to happen.”

Merlin laughed as they clinked glasses and Merlin made sure to look into Gwaine’s eyes as he did so. He watched Gwaine as he brought the glass to his lips and tilted his head back pouring the clear liquid into his mouth. Merlin followed his lead and copied his movements, opening his throat more like he was about to swallow a pill and quickly tipped the vodka towards the back of this mouth. He swallowed it as fast as he could, but he could still feel the dull burn in the back of his throat. He was pleased to know that it did in fact taste like cake though. The burn started becoming too much so he quickly picked up the red cup and took a couple swallows of the soda.

His heart was racing in his chest from taking his first shot and the accomplishment of not completely choking on it.

Gwaine clapped him on the shoulder. “Good, right?”

Merlin grinned. “Yeah. Not as bad as I thought it would be.”

“Hold on to this,” Gwaine said, handing him the bottle. “Don’t let anyone you don’t want drinking it to take it. It can get pretty popular.”

Merlin nodded as Gwaine set about opening another bottle of vodka, Smirnoff this time, and poured some into the red cup Merlin was drinking from before adding more soda.

“Here you go, mixed by yours truly.”

“Thanks,” Merlin grinned as he took the cup from Gwaine’s hand.

“I think some of the guys are out in the garage if you wanna hang out with them. I gotta go mingle.”

Merlin nodded and turned towards the door that led from the kitchen into the garage. Sitting against the far side wall in the corner Merlin recognized Leon and Percy, both holding cans of Bud Light. In the middle was a ping pong table covered with red cups and liquid rings formed by the bottom of the cups. Currently two girls were playing two boys at beer pong, battle of the sexes and the boys winning. Standing around the table were a handful of people cheering them on.

Merlin walked around the crowd and headed toward his two friends.

Percy looked over as Merlin approached and yelled, “Happy birthday! Drink up!”

Leon laughed as Merlin shot Percy a strange look. “He’s already drank three beers, and Gwaine’s order us to wish you a happy birthday and to chug whatever you’ve got in your hands,” Leon said, grinning.

“That’s impossible!” Merlin cried as he raised the bottle of Cake and his cup. “I can’t possibly drink this much in one sitting.”

Leon stood up from the folding chair. “Here, you drink more than half of that,” Leon said as he knocked his can into Merlin’s cup, “and I’ll drink the rest of mine.” He swirled the beer in his hand under Merlin’s nose so that he could see that there was more than half of the can left.

Merlin didn’t know if it was such a good idea, but it was his birthday soon, and he knew his friends would take care of him if he was to drink too much. He could already feel the first shot started to warm him up, it was a pleasant feeling, and Merlin figured this was going to be his only opportunity for a long time to drink.

So Merlin found himself nodding.

“Good man,” Leon said with a smile. “One, two, three.”

Merlin lifted his cup to his lips as Leon did the same with his can, and began to drink. The bubbles from the soda tickled his throat and the soda attempted to cover the taste of the alcohol, but only did little in that regard. After taking several large gulps, Merlin pulled away from the cup with a cough and found that he had drank almost all of his drink.

Seconds after, Leon tilted his head all the way back and emptied the remains of his beer.

“Time for more,” Leon said, “I’ll get you a beer.”

As Leon left, Merlin slipped into his seat and started talking to Percy.

Half an hour later, Gwaine’s house was almost filled to the brim. It was hot and stuffy inside the house, but outside kids were smoking weed so those who didn’t want to smell the secondhand smoke was forced to stay inside until the kids were done.

By the time all his friends showed up, Merlin was feeling a little more than tipsy and well on his way to being drunk. Gwen, Freya, Lance, and Elyan all took a shot with him, using his Cake vodka as the choice drink, and they all took another one (without Merlin and Lance since he was driving them all home) to catch up to where Merlin was. Elena and Mithian also arrived and wished a Merlin a happy birthday, but found that Merlin had just made himself a new drink and didn’t want him to take a shot as well.

It wasn’t too much after this that Arthur arrived with Morgana who hurried off to find her friends. Although his body was already warm and his heart rate swift, he could feel his body react to the sight of Arthur. The boy was still golden in his gray striped shirt and fitted black jeans. He was smiled and laughed with another guy in the doorway before heading over to their group.

“Birthday shot!” Elena screamed as Arthur neared. “You have some catching up to do, Pendragon.”

“Shots! Shots! Shots! Shot, shot. Shots!” Gwen giggled before leaning her head against Lance’s.

Arthur grinned amicably and laughed, “Alright, alright, geez.” He squeezed Merlin’s shoulder from his seat upon the washer and nodded toward the kitchen. “Come on birthday boy.”

Merlin smiled stupidly at Arthur and nearly fell off the washer when he tried to get off. It was only Arthur grabbing at his arms did Merlin stay on his feet, giggling his head off all the while.

“I don’t think you need any more,” Arthur told him as Merlin leaned on his shoulder as they walked to the kitchen.

“But it’s my birthday,” Merlin pouted. He held up the Cake bottle. “And I have – I have ta drink this cause it’s uhmazin’. You need ta try it.” Arthur shook his head and took the bottle from Merlin’s hand.

Together they navigated their way through the crowds that gathered in the kitchen. Various people grabbing at bottles and rinsing out shot glasses in the sink. Merlin leaned against the wall as he watched Arthur prepare the shots. He noticed that Arthur only poured him half a shot, but didn’t want to dispute it, somewhere in his brain he knew that half a shot was a good idea.

“Happy birthday, bitch,” Arthur laughed as they clinked shot glasses and quickly downed them.

By now the taste didn’t bother Merlin as much, so he didn’t need to drink a chaser, but Arthur quickly poured a cup of soda and took two mouthfuls.

“What’re you doin’?” Merlin asked, as he watched Arthur measure out another shot.

“Catchin’ up,” Arthur told him. 

An hour later, Arthur and Merlin were squished together on top of the washing machine, both leaning heavily on each other. Merlin had stopped drinking half an hour ago, but was still drunk. Percy was sitting on top of the dryer and the rest of their friends were scattered around them in different seats. Gwaine popped in every once in a while to check up on them, trying to be a good host, but he was drunk so there wasn’t much he could do if there was something they needed.

Merlin was having the time of his life. He was drunk for the first time, he felt warm and lightheaded and giggly. He also was babbling a lot about nonsensical things like unicorns and dinosaurs. But what made his night complete was Arthur’s chest pressed up against his shoulder and Arthur’s hand resting on his back, the heat of it burning through his shirt and into his skin. It was possessive and something Merlin only dreamed of.

Merlin took the closeness to his advantage because Arthur was almost as drunk as Merlin was, taking just as many shots as Merlin, but not being as much of a lightweight Arthur was holding up a bit better than Merlin. Merlin often rested his hand on Arthur’s knee and always leaned closer to Arthur when he wanted to say something only to him.

“Ten minutes!” someone had called out to the room and everyone cheered.

“I gotta piss,” Arthur told Merlin, his forehead momentarily pressing against the side of Merlin’s head just above his ear.

Merlin snorted and elbowed Arthur. “Then go.”

Arthur laughed as he jumped down and stumbled out of the garage.

Even though his body was burning from the alcohol and Arthur’s touches, Merlin’s side felt cold and empty the moment Arthur had moved away.

As soon as Arthur had left, Merlin ignored the looks that Freya and Gwen were giving him as well as the knowing grins from everyone else. But Merlin grinned to himself, thinking that maybe all they needed was a little liquid courage to get things moving.

It was when someone called out five minutes to midnight did Merlin notice that Arthur was gone for longer than he should have been for a quick trip to the bathroom.

“I’ma find Arthur,” Merlin told the group. Not even waiting for their response, Merlin stumbled off the washer and began walking away.

Merlin pushed his way through all the sweaty people around him in search for Arthur. He wasn’t in the kitchen, and he wasn’t in the line to the bathroom. Merlin kept his eyes peeled for the blond, even taking a peak in backyard to find it empty. He traveled back into the house and moved toward the living room where the music had stopped and the television had been put on full blast.

On the opposite side of the room stood Arthur with Sophia latched onto his shoulders looking as drunk as Merlin felt. They weren’t kissing, no, but Merlin knew that the girl wanted it; Sophia had always had a crush on Arthur, but she was also known as the band slut as well, going from Alvarr to Helios to Valiant and back to Alvarr. Sophia was plastered against Arthur’s side who had a hand gripped against her side. His brows were furrowed as she leaned into his ear to whisper and giggle drunkenly.

Frowning, Merlin tried not to stumble as he walked down the hallway and went out the backdoor. The cool air felt good against his heated skin, waking his senses up.

The backyard was a good size, enough to fit twenty people comfortably. The cement porch only took up a third of the backyard, and the tall wooden fence was lined with bushes.

Merlin shuffled over to the wall of the house and leaned back against it, tilting his head back as well. He tried to keep the thought of Arthur wrapped up with Sophia out of his mind. Sophia was pretty, and Merlin wouldn’t blame Arthur if he gave into her charms. But he felt hurt that only minutes ago Arthur was pressed up against him and then to find him later with some girl that didn’t even like Merlin hanging off of him. It was depressing.

Merlin was startled when he heard the backdoor open. Noise flowed out the door as Gwaine stepped out, grinning at Merlin. Merlin didn’t move from his spot as Gwaine shut the door behind him and moved over to stand before Merlin, not walking very straight.

“It’s almost your birthday, man,” Gwaine said. For someone so drunk, Gwaine spoke pretty well.

Merlin smiled. He was finally going to be legal, not legal to do much except buy cigarettes, porn, and lottery tickets. Not things Merlin really needed nor wanted. “Yeah, I know. Mom wants ta take me out ta dinner,” Merlin replied.

Gwaine laughed and stepped closer, “Let’s hope you’re not too hung over then.”

“What’re you talk’ ‘bout? I’m nah drunk at all,” Merlin protested as he laughed.

“Of course not. Why would my precious Merlin drink?”

“Cause his good friend Gwaine flyed…played…gave him a bottle of Cake.”

“You gotta admit tha’ it was the perfect present. Cake for ya birthday.”

Merlin laughed as he smiled broadly, “It was. Thanks. Every birthday always needs a good cake.”

Gwaine smile and nodded. Merlin watched as Gwaine looked down at the ground and then back up, his expression much more serious, but still a faint smile on his face. “I noticed Arthur was with Sophia.”

Merlin frowned and scuffed his shoe against the ground. He defensively crossed his arms. “Yeah, he was.”

Gwaine nodded as he looked away towards the door as people began to scream ‘one minute’. “Got anyone to kiss at midnight?” Gwaine asked slowly and took another step closer to Merlin, their toes almost touching each other.

Merlin froze. Gwaine wouldn’t tease him like that, Merlin knew. Sure Gwaine liked to joke around and have a good time, but he was considerate of people’s feelings. He wasn’t heartless. Gwaine most likely knew of Merlin’s crush on Arthur, but if Gwaine didn’t have any feelings of his own for Merlin, he wouldn’t use Merlin’s disappointed feelings to his advantage. It would just be the luck of the draw that Merlin happened to be alone after he saw Arthur with Sophia.

“No,” Merlin breathed, his heart thumping steadily faster in his chest.

“Shame,” Gwaine whispered. “Neither do I.”

“I’m sure you could find a girl or somethin’,” Merlin mumbled.

Gwaine shrugged, “I know. But there’s this boy who I’ve always wanted to kiss. And it’s his birthday soon, so I thought I’d ask him first.”

Merlin paused, his breath becoming more erratic with each breath. “And if he said yes.”

Gwaine smiled slowly, stepping closer and lifting his hands to rest lightly on Merlin’s hips. “Then I’m in luck.”

Breathing deeply, Merlin pushed himself away from the wall and closer to Gwaine. He placed his hands on the shorter boy’s shoulders as Gwaine moved closer again, pressing his chest up to Merlin’s his mouth hovering over Merlin’s. Pausing a moment, Gwaine waited for Merlin to back away just in case he changed his mind, and when Merlin didn’t move, Gwaine closed his eyes and pushed forward, pressing his lips to Merlin’s for a slow kiss.

Merlin gasped the moment Gwaine’s lips met his and his eyes slipped close. Gwaine’s kiss was more demanding than Lucas, who liked to give and take. Gwaine liked to push and nip on Merlin’s lower lip and suck it into his mouth, making Merlin weak in the knees. Gwaine sped up the kiss, using his tongue to swipe wetly across the seam of Merlin’s lips and spread them. Gwaine curled his tongue around Merlin’s own hesitant one and trailed the tip of his tongue behind his front teeth and across the roof of his mouth.

Merlin shivered with every lick of Gwaine’s tongue in his mouth. Gwaine was definitely more experienced at kissing than Merlin was, and Merlin was more than happy to follow Gwaine’s lead. He sucked on Gwaine’s tongue when he could and nibbled at his lip when they pulled away from each other only to dive back seconds later.

Faintly Merlin could hear people cheering in the background and illegal fireworks going off in the distance. But all Merlin could focus on was the taste of alcohol on Gwaine’s tongue and feeling of Gwaine’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist. He ran his fingers through the thick brown hair that looked like it belonged in a shampoo commercial and tugged on the ends of the strands.

So caught up in kissing Gwaine, Merlin didn’t notice or hear the backdoor open.

“Merlin, they told…”

Gwaine pulled away and stepped back from Merlin, but kept his hands on Merlin’s hips. Merlin’s hands slipped to Gwaine’s chest as he caught his breath.

Arthur stood a few feet from the door, his eyes flitting from Merlin to Gwaine and back to Merlin quickly and then landing on the placement of their hands and the redness of their lips. Merlin could tell that he was trying to process what he had just witnessed, his face carefully blank.

“Arthur,” Gwaine said. “Make out with Sophia at midnight?”

Arthur straightened and frowned. “No, I told her to find Helios,” Arthur replied slowly since he was still slightly drunk. His eyes moved back over to Merlin, looking at him intently. “I was going to – no, nevermind. I’m just gonna – you know, and you two can do…” He waved his hands in their general direction and took a step back.

The step back made Merlin take an involuntary step forward, like Arthur was pulling him along with him on an invisible string. “Arthur, wait,” Merlin said. He let go of Gwaine and stumbled a few steps over to Arthur. Abruptly, Merlin flung himself at the other boy and tightly wrapped his arms around Arthur’s neck.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin whispered as he buried his face in Arthur neck. He suddenly felt very tired and heavy. “I’m tired.”

Merlin felt Arthur wrap his arm around his waist and his head press against his.

“I left the guest room upstairs for him, no one should be in there,” Gwaine told Arthur.

Merlin’s eyes were shutting of their own accord and he felt himself being pulled back inside by Arthur. “Come on, time for you to go to sleep,” Arthur said in his ear.

As they moved inside the music was turned back on, people were still scattered everywhere in the house. Merlin moved closer to Arthur so that were pressed from hip to shoulder and his head rolled against Arthur’s shoulder.

As they made their way up the stairs, Merlin began to babble, “Gwaine’s a good kisser, better then Lucas. And Freya doesn’t count ‘cause she’s like my best friend. And Freya was sticky, ‘cause she had that glossy thing that girls like ta wear. Why do you like kissing girls? They’re weird and soft and stuff.”

Merlin barely noticed it when Arthur lowered him onto the bed and shoved him under the blankets. He fell quiet as his eyelids drooped. He felt a faint pressure from Arthur’s hand on his forward and it was gone in a matter of seconds.

  


Merlin felt sleep begin to wash over him. The last sight his saw was Arthur leaning up against the doorjamb watching Merlin. As his eyes closed, Merlin mumbled, “Why don’t you like me, Arfur?”

  


Arthur avoided Merlin once school came back in session and Merlin did the same. Gwaine didn’t say anything to anyone about what happened that night, so no one really knew why the two good, almost best friends, started avoiding each other again. Arthur stopped talking to Gwaine altogether. No one wanted to pick sides so they acted as they normally would, but tried not to mention Merlin or Gwaine to Arthur and Arthur to Merlin.

Arthur didn’t know how to interact with Merlin. Catching Merlin with Gwaine was like a confirmation in his mind that yes, Merlin liked boys. Merlin liked kissing boys. Merlin wanted to be with boys. Seeing them was worse than a shot to the chest. It was like his stomach had sunk to his toes and his heart was ripped straight from his chest. Arthur wasn’t dumb enough to not know what that meant. And Arthur couldn’t accept that fact about himself. He didn’t want to be gay, but that was silly because he knew that you simply didn’t choose who you liked.

After the hurt, the jealousy set in along with the anger. The similar kind of jealousy and anger that Arthur had felt after seeing Merlin with Lucas, seeing Lucas’ hand on Merlin’s back. But this anger and jealousy was worse in the fact that it was Gwaine, charming Gwaine who could possibly talk a girl out of her clothes in less than five minutes if they were willing. Merlin shouldn’t have even been Gwaine’s radar. Gwaine was supposed to be straight, not bi-curious or whatever the term was these days.

So Arthur shoved all feelings and thoughts aside and focused on school. There were no more study sessions because Merlin didn’t really talk to Arthur that much anymore, not that Arthur was very responsive when Merlin did talk to him. Merlin was always blushing and muttering to himself whenever Arthur was alone with him. Arthur figured that Merlin must have remembered what happened on his birthday and was embarrassed.

Arthur stopped talking to Merlin for a whole different reason. He was avoiding Merlin because he didn’t want to confront any feelings that he may have toward Merlin, feelings that he didn’t want to be directed towards Merlin.

It was the end of January when his friends planned a trip to the beach. Even though it was January, there were still a few warm days before February kicked in, chilled the air, and rained. The beach stayed a steady 75 degrees these days, the breeze was light, and the sun shined bright.

Arthur wasn’t a part of the planning committee. Morgana, Gwen, and Lance were at the heart of the operation, and Arthur should have been skeptical at the start with those three involved in the planning. Arthur was stuck with Merlin in the passenger seat and Gwaine in the back, the bed of his truck full of ice chests, folding chairs, firewood, and beach towels. Leon took everyone else in his suburban, filling up every seat and even squishing Morgana, Elena, and Freya in the third row. Arthur would have taken Morgana’s sniping to get someone else in the car with him.

The hour and half ride to Huntington Beach was the longest drive Arthur had even driven. Gwaine and Merlin talked like they usually did, but they didn’t include Arthur in on their conversation. Arthur listened in and found that they were talking as if New Year’s never happened.

Arthur wished it was so easy for him to forget.

The parking lot was half full when they arrived a little after lunch time. Leon had not arrived yet, so the three of them began grabbing their stuff and claiming a fire pit. Halfway through unloading the other car arrived, and they began to help, making it the last trip they needed to make.

The girls laid out their blankets and stripped down to their bathing suits before rubbing sunblock over their skin. The boys followed their example.

Everyone was happy and chatting with one another. Morgana was taking pictures of everyone and Percy took out a football for the boys to throw a around for a bit.

Arthur found himself swept up in the small game of catch, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Merlin still putting sun block on his ghostly pale skin. Freya was helping him rub it in on his back. Merlin was rubbing large amounts on his skin and rubbing it on his ears, trying to prevent any part of his skin from frying. It should have been hilarious, but to Arthur it was endearing.

Once the boys got tired of throwing the ball around, they decided to swim in the ocean. At this time Gwen, Freya, and Merlin, who were sitting on their towels watching the boys, joined them.

The water was freezing around their feet as they waded into the water. Their feet sunk into the wet sand leaving impressions until the water swept back in and washed it away. After getting used to the temperature, everyone became submerged into the water. Gwen piggy backed on Lance as they floated near the shore and squealing whenever seaweed would touch her foot, Percy and Gwaine tried to see who could swim out the farthest without getting scared of being swept out by the current, and Freya, Merlin, and Elyan dove under the waves before surfacing and gasping for air.

Arthur floated with Leon away from everyone near the shore, nearly sitting on the sand and letting the waves crash into his chest. Arthur kept an eye on all of them though and his eyes stayed more often or not to Merlin who grinned without inhibition with his hair plastered awkwardly to his head, making his ears all the more obvious.

“It’s okay to like him,” Leon simply said. “It really is. We support you and all that shit.”

Arthur pretended like he didn’t hear him.

“None of us care that you like a boy.”

Arthur bit on his lip and looked away from Merlin who had just gotten splashed in the face by Freya.

“But we do care that you guys are making each other miserable though,” Leon continued. “Merlin’s too scared to make a move now. He probably would have if you gave him some sort of sign that you cared for him that way, but you never have, until recently. Now for some reason you’ve been brushing him off, and I really hope it’s because you’ve gotten it through that thick head of yours that it’s because you have feelings for Merlin.”

Arthur watched the incoming wave intently and said, “I don’t like Merlin like that.”

Leon snorted. “Yeah, and the sky isn’t blue.”

“Shut up, Leon,” Arthur growled.

A sigh was his answer.

For the rest of the afternoon, thoughts of Merlin tumbled around in his head. The truth was that he missed Merlin. He missed his deep laugh in his room, his whispered comments during class, and his bright smile when he sat down for lunch. His whole body ached from Merlin’s absence. He went to sleep thinking about Merlin’s bright eyes and woke up thinking about Merlin’s crinkled eyed grin.

After they got out of the water, dried up under the sun, and started their bonfire to roast hotdogs and marshmallows once the sun began to set, Arthur began to think about Merlin in _that_ way. From across the fire, where the orange flames cast a bright glow across Merlin’s skin and reflected off the black strands of his hair, Arthur let himself think of what they would be like together. Would Merlin curl into his side and whisper inane things in his ear. Would Merlin grip his hand and give him a kiss on the cheek when he noticed that he had spent more time talking to other people other than Arthur.

Arthur let himself fantasize about moving around the fire and sitting down at Merlin’s side and simply holding his hand, showing the rest of their friends that Merlin was his. That the beautiful boy with large ears, killer cheekbones, and bright smile was his. Arthur would be possessive and kiss Merlin on the lips for longer than was strictly necessary in public, but he would pull away to find Merlin looking at him with a fond, private smile.

Arthur’s breath caught when he found Merlin’s eyes staring back at him curiously and hesitantly. Arthur realized that he could do this; he could be with Merlin the way that he wanted to be. He could get over his fears and excuses and just be with the one person who made his insides feel funny and made his breath catch whenever he saw them smile.

Not looking away, Arthur gave Merlin a small smile, a friendly one, showing Merlin that all hope was not lost. His heart soared when Merlin returned the smile and ducked his head.

And suddenly, admitting that he was gay didn’t seem to be that big of a deal after all. Because love was love, was it not?

  


Merlin wasn’t surprised when a girl from ASPB showed up during his Chemistry class with two red heart-shaped balloons with notes and weights attached to the end of the long ribbons in hand on Valentine’s Day. He wasn’t surprised when the girl called out Lauren Villegas’ name and gave her the first balloon. He _was_ surprised when the girl called out his name next.

He head had shot up so fast he was sure he almost got whiplash. Slowly he had raised his hand and watched as the girl made her way through the desks and handed him the string to the balloon. He tried his best to beat down the blush that was furiously making its way up his neck and across his cheeks as the rest of his class stared at him.

“Alright kids,” Mr. Taliesin announced. “Eyes back up here.”

For a second, as everyone looked back up to the front of the class, Merlin contemplated that it was Lucas who sent it, but that thought was wiped when the boy leaned over and whispered, “So who’s it from?”

Merlin shrugged in response, thinking about who else could have sent it. Gwen did these kinds of things, but he knew she would have told him about it if she was the one to buy it for him. In turn, she would also know if it was Freya as well, so that took her off the list. And lastly he was sure Gwaine and Morgana received the Valentine Grams, not sent them out.

Traitorously his stomach twisted when he thought that Arthur might be the one to send it. But ever since New Year’s things between them had a little too uncomfortable and Merlin was afraid that they would never get back to where they were before. Arthur never mentioned what happened, and Merlin, quite frankly, was too embarrassed to bring it up.

After their trip to the beach, Merlin felt as though they were moving on, since by the end of the night Arthur had stopped shifting awkwardly around him and was able to look Merlin in the eyes for more than two seconds. He even smiled at Merlin.

Merlin quickly pulled off the message and placed the weight on the floor. He tamped down the idea of Arthur sending him anything and with slightly shaky hands opened the folded pink paper printed with his name and 5th period room number on the outside, sealed shut with a heart-shaped sticker. Merlin unknowingly held his breath as he read the message.

  


_Merlin,_  
Happy Valentine’s Day. I know you could have your pick of any guy, but I really like you and I wish you could give me a shot. Meet me today at 3:30 behind the portables. I hope to see you there.

Merlin’s heart raced as he read the note. It didn’t seem real. It couldn’t be real. It must be someone’s idea of a cruel joke because things like this didn’t happen to Merlin. There was no name, which was to be expected, and he couldn’t recognize the handwriting. If someone was pranking him, he thought that they would try to overdo it by signing it with the usual ‘Your Secret Admirer’, but they hadn’t.

“So?” Lucas whispered, making Merlin quickly shut the note and shove it under his papers.

Merlin gave him a small smile and whispered back, “Just Freya.” Satisfied, Lucas nodded and sat back in his seat.

Merlin drew a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, but he could feel the note burning through the paper beneath his hands and couldn’t pay attention for the rest of the class period. He had never gotten a true Valentine’s card, and this would be his first, something that he knew he would always remember.

He was so confused. There were two ways that this could go. One: Merlin showed up and there really was someone there who liked Merlin. Or two: Merlin showed up and it was a group of people (most likely boys Merlin mused) that would get a laugh out of Merlin thinking that someone actually had feelings for him. The second option was something Merlin didn’t want to think someone would do, but you never knew with a bunch of teenagers who thought another kid’s humiliation was funny. And the first option…well, with the first option, Merlin knew who he wanted to be standing there waiting for him.

As soon as the bell rang, Merlin threw Lucas a hasty goodbye as he shoved the note and his pencil into his pocket and flipped his binder closed before he raced through the campus to make it to the music room. The balloon bobbed behind him and he tried his best to not hit anyone with it. He felt a little ridiculous and embarrassed to be one of the many carrying around a balloon, but at the same time, he felt special because maybe, just maybe, someone had noticed him.

He got to the music room early and saw Freya talking with Elena. Merlin knew he needed Freya’s opinion. Gwen would have thought it was romantic and Morgana, skeptical. Freya would work him through it and not force any ideas on him.

As he approached both Freya and Elena, both the girls turned and cooed when they saw the balloon.

“Who gave you that, Merlin?” Elena asked curiously while smiling, her hand reaching out to give the string a tug.

“I have no clue actually,” Merlin breathed, “I’m sorry, but I have to borrow Freya for a moment.”

Elena raised her eyebrows. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks.” Merlin than grabbed onto Freya’s arm and dragged her back out the door and around the corner of the building where there were less people.

“What’s going on?” Freya asked. She brushed her hair out of her face as they came to a stop.

Immediately Merlin dropped her arm and shoved his hand in his pocket to grab the note and gave it to Freya. “Read this,” he commanded impatiently.

Freya took the pink paper with furrowed eyebrows and quickly read. “Oh, wow. So are you going to meet him?” she inquired as she handed the paper back to him. Freya knew all about the Lucas situation and was smart enough to know that it wasn’t him.

Merlin ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. “I dunno,” he mumbled. “I mean, what if it’s some group of boys who just want to get a laugh out of tricking me or something?”

The girl frowned slightly. “Well, assholes aside, would you go if you knew that there was actually someone who liked you waiting there.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Merlin admitted softly, his mind already picturing just one lone boy waiting for him to arrive. It must have taken a lot of courage to even write the note out in the first place and it wouldn’t be right to leave the boy hanging.

“So I think you have your answer,” Freya replied with a soft smile. “And listen, how about I stick around, and you have a text ready when you get there so that if it is trouble, you just send me the text, and I can grab Mr. Gharrah or someone to kick their asses, okay?”

Merlin smiled faintly. “Okay,” he agreed and he opened his arms for a hug, which Freya readily moved into. “Thanks, Frey. Love you.”

“You better,” Freya laughed into his chest and pulled back. “Come on, time to go to class.” They walked back to class together, his arm over her shoulders.

The thought of what was about to happen in just over an hour washed over him, made him nervous. His stomach twisted unpleasantly and his breath was starting to quicken.

“Okay, I’m starting to freak out,” Merlin admitted.

“Don’t freak out,” Freya instantly said. “You should be excited. Shit, _I’m_ excited for you. It’s about damn time.”

“Time for what?” a voice broke in.

For a second, Merlin felt his heart stop, thinking it was Arthur, but he was relieved to see that it was only Leon walking next to Freya.

“For you to get a haircut,” Freya replied cheekily and Merlin squeezed her shoulders for the save.

As they all walked into the class room, Leon arguing with Freya about the length of his hair, Merlin knew the next hour and a half was going to be either the longest or shortest time of his life.

  


_It was a last minute decision_ , Arthur mused as he twirled the rose in his fingers and began pacing against behind the portable classrooms. _A stupid last minute decision_. But the message had been sent and Arthur was left waiting for Merlin to arrive. The week before when the ASPB had advertised that they were going to be doing the Valentine Grams again this year, Arthur thought it was the perfect opportunity to ask Merlin. He wrote his note on a paper and sealed it with the provided sticker. Arthur was glad that they sent it to their fifth periods or else he probably would’ve died while Merlin read the message.

Arthur had seen Merlin during sixth period and the boy had seemed distracted, frequently whispering to Freya before and after class.

Not wanting to be caught by his friends, Arthur had rushed away to the portables to get there early, just in case Merlin was going to get there earlier than the specified time. The portables were away from the main traffic of the school and was often fairly secluded after school, which was why Arthur chose that spot.

Carefully Arthur had opened his backpack and took out a long thin box. Opening it exposed one red rose that Arthur plucked from the box and twirled in his fingers.

Pacing, Arthur rehearsed what he was going to say, but knew that he was going to get so nervous that he was just going to end up blurting out whatever came to mind. He was never really good about talking about his feelings.

Arthur sighed and brought the flower up to his pursed lips. He glanced at his cell phone to see that it was two minutes to 3:30. Hearing a noise, Arthur twisted around to find Merlin by the corner of the classroom, frozen in his spot and his eyes wide.

Realizing that Merlin wasn’t going to move, Arthur advanced on his slowly, never breaking eye contact with the other boy.

“Are you sure that note wasn’t for someone else?” Merlin asked.

Arthur stopped two feet from the other boy and smiled. “If it was for someone else, why would it say Merlin?”

“Okay, fine, are you sure that you’re supposed to be here?”

Arthur laughed and shook his head. He looked down at the rose, twirled it one last time with his fingers, and outstretched it to Merlin. “Here, Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Merlin was still staring wide eyed at Arthur, but his eyes dipped down to the flower in front of him. A small smile appeared on his face as he gingerly accepted the flower. He lifted it to his nose and smelled it. “Thank you,” Merlin grinned. “I love it.”

“Good,” Arthur nodded. “You’re welcome.”

Merlin nodded in reply and continued twirling the flower in front of himself.

A silence fell between them and Arthur scrambled to find the words that he had rehearsed earlier.

“So, I thought, uh,” Arthur started nervously. He was supposed to ask Merlin out, easy peasy, but it seemed the words did not want to come out. “Well, I know that, um. I just…yeah, no.”

Arthur shook his head and blushed as a grin bloomed on Merlin’s face. “You wrote on the note that you really liked me,” Merlin said. Arthur nodded hesitantly. “Well, I guess it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t that I really like you back.”

“Oh, I already knew _that_ , Merlin,” Arthur teased.

Merlin laughed and rolled his eyes. “Way to ruin the moment, asshole.”

“I didn’t ruin anything.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, the next thing you were supposed to do was ask me out, not make fun of me.”

“Okay, fine, Merlin would you go out with me?”

“Uh, no, ask it more romantically. If I’ve waited all this time for you to get your shit together and ask me out you need to do better, you sounded a little sarcastic there.”

“Merlin!” Arthur laughed and Merlin laughing along with him.

Moments later Arthur sobered up and stepped closer to the other boy so that there was only enough room for Merlin to twist the flower in his hands. “Merlin, would you like to go out on a date with me?” Arthur asked in a strong, but slow voice.

Arthur watched as a blush spread across Merlin’s cheeks and on the tips of his ears. “Yes, I would very much like to,” Merlin replied quietly.

Arthur grinned and stared at Merlin who was staring back. Neither wanted to leave, but neither hand anything else to say.

“Can I kiss you?” Merlin suddenly asked. Then his eyes became wide. “Shit, sorry, you can say no. I didn’t mean to say that. Fuck.”

Although Arthur was shocked, he had to admit that he had been thinking about it. He had been thinking about doing that for a while now. It was slightly daunting to be kissing another boy, but Arthur had talked himself through it. Told himself that it was like kissing Mithian, but only going to be about a billion times better because his feelings for Merlin were way more intense than they were for Mithian.

“Yeah,” Arthur breathed, stopping Merlin short of his blathering. “You can.”

“Oh,” Merlin said. “Okay.”

Merlin shuffled forward a little and lifted his hand to cup Arthur’s cheek. The one little touch sent Arthur’s heart racing and Arthur had to settle his hands against Merlin’s sides to stop himself from swaying too much. Slowly they leaned in toward each other as Merlin slid his other arm around Arthur’s neck to bring him closer.

Their mouths brushed against each other’s slowly, setting Arthur’s heart into over drive, and his skin on fire. He could feel Merlin’s breath against his face and dove in for another kiss, this one with more pressure than the first one. Together they pressed their lips against each other over and over in a series of pecks before Arthur pressed harder and longer, tilting his head to the side to fit his lips better over Merlin’s.

With his blood rushing in his ears and the feeling of Merlin’s plump lips pressed to his, Arthur almost missed the sound of a cell phone vibrating.

“Is that yours?” Arthur asked as he pulled away and caught his breath. His hands still clutching Merlin’s sides.

Merlin stared at him stupidly before looking down at his pants and realizing that his phone was vibrating. He fished his phone out of his pocket and cursed when he looked at the caller ID.

“Hello? Yeah. No, it’s all good. No – Freya. No. I gotta go. Bye!”

He hung up forcefully and asked Arthur. “Sorry about that? Now where were we?”

Arthur tilted his head back and laughed.

 

**EPILOGUE**

 

“What do you mean, Merlin can’t ask you to the prom?” Morgana asked scandalized taking her eyes off the road.

Morgana was driving for once, offering Arthur to drive out for dinner since their parents went out on a date to some fancy restaurant an hour away. She had gotten a Ford Focus as a birthday present for her 18th birthday, as promised by Uther. Now she was taking advantage driving everywhere she could, whenever she could.

“Well, I was the one to ask him out, I’m usually the one who comes up with the ideas of where to go,” Arthur replied throwing his arms up. “So I should be the one to ask him to prom, but I just can’t think of the right way to do it.”

“You are fucking stupid,” Morgana simply said as she turned onto their street. “You’re going to USC, you shouldn’t be stupid. Smart people are supposed to be accepted there.”

“I’m not stupid,” Arthur retorted. “Merlin just never really does any of the asking.”

Morgana rolled her eyes.

As they neared their house, Arthur noticed something was wrong with his car.

“What the fuck? Who did that to my car?” Arthur yelled.

Morgana started laughing as she pulled into the driveway. Immediately Arthur jumped out of the car and ran to where his was parked on the street.

His car was covered in saran wrap. It was wrapped all the way around the width and over the hood, the bed, the windows, and the doors.

When he went to the front of the car, written in sticky notes on the windshield was the word ‘PROM?’

Arthur stopped and stared, all of the anger leaving him.

“Merlin!” he cried.

Hearing the familiar sound of his boyfriend’s laughter, Arthur turned around to see Merlin jogging towards him in his UCLA shirt from the side of his house, Will, Gwaine, and Percy standing where he had just come from.

“What did you do to my car?” Arthur complained as Merlin neared. “You better hope that doesn’t ruin the paint job.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Just answer the question, Arthur.”

“Yes, of course,” Arthur answered. “But did you really have to do that to my car?”

Merlin smiled ear to ear, making Arthur smile in return. He stepped up to the blond, laughing, and drew him into a hug. Arthur returned the hug readily, squeezing his arms tight around the other boy.

Merlin pulled back just far enough to give Arthur a kiss and rest his forehead against Arthur’s.

Arthur smiled and chuckled, “Love you, idiot.”

“Love you too, jerkface,” Merlin replied against his lips.

  



End file.
